The thing I enjoy most triggers my anxiety

[Bearzy9_]

I’m a rugby union player, I love playing its one of the things I enjoy most but every time I go to play I get really anxious. It’s earthed I’m worried about letting my team down or that my family won’t be proud of how I play, or that I’m gonna get seriously injured cause I have this slight bruise on my knee that hurts so maybe because of that it will cause a serious injury.
sometimes I think it would just be easier to not play but I love playing so much, it’s just every time I go to play I feel like I’m carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. It’s all this pressure to play well and to not get injured, to be a great player and to continue getting better but I feel as if I can’t live up to that.

[Croix]

Dear Bearzy9#~

Welcome here to the forum. I don't think it is random as you mentioned elsewhere, and the logical reason may not be apparent straight away.

Trying to play with the weight of all those expectations on you is well nigh impossible, and that's a pity, to even think of giving up something you enjoy so much becuse of it would be great shame.

It looks on the one side you have the simple enjoyment in playing if no strings are attached, and on the other you have your idea of what others expect.

So may I ask where these expectations came from? Have you been consistently pressured by parents to perfom beyond what is reasonable? Has the team manager/coach pressured you above others? Have the other players made it plain it all depends on you?

Rugby Union is like so many things a team sport. All of you together make up the game, and really need to interact with and support each other all the time. While this is the 'ideal' scenario it is well worth bearing in mind. If it is all left up to you then htey are not teammates but coasters

The other thing to ask if if you have had similar feelings of anxiety in other areas of your life, or at other times? Feelings of anxiety can be very real, and limit what one does.

Having read all the above what do you think?

Croix

[smallwolf]

Hello.

My brother plays soccer in a local comp. Some in the team take it very seriously, and the others not so much. And the are mature age players. For my brother it is fun.

I also wonder where the feeling of it all being on your shoulders came from?

Has it always been like this?

To play... Do you need to be on the field? Or could some other team role work out ok?

Interested in your thoughts..

[geoff]

Hello Bearzy, a person who loves the game I played and being able to play prevented me from my OCD compulsions and no, we didn't want to be the weak link, but the point is you love playing the game so much, that's all the strength you need, and even if you believe you didn't play well, others may disagree with you and compliment you.

If you decided not to play, how many times do you wish you were out there and that person who scored a try.

Go with the flow, everybody else will have the same thoughts, but keep quiet.

Geoff.

[therising]

Hi Bearzy9#

May sound a bit strange but can you recall a time where you played thoughtlessly, more instinctively? It might have been a time where you played the best game you've ever played. It might have been a time where you didn't think about every move you made, the moves or strategies just naturally came to mind and you simply followed them, without question.

To play while being in 2 minds would be challenging. For example, just say you have an opportunity to get the ball, as it's coming your way. What may naturally suddenly come to mind is 'Go left', even thought the ball is coming on your right. If you begin to think or mentally process whether going left makes sense, in a matter of seconds you may talk yourself out of going left. Suddenly the ball comes along to your left and you're left kicking yourself. So, you could say that the 2 minds thing is about one mind being instinctive and the other being thinking based. The battle between the 2 can be far from simple at times.

Do you feel a part of your challenge involves practicing thinking less? I can't help but wonder how many athletes regularly practice not thinking (in some way) when they're competing. If you were to ask some, I imagine they might say something along the lines of 'When I'm competing/playing, there's something altogether different that drives me. I just know what I have to do, without thinking'.

While playing this way may be a challenge, when it comes to fine tuning it (getting it wrong at times until you've mastered it), I wonder whether it will come to make a difference in a number of ways. Perhaps it might lead you to think less, in general, when it comes to the weight of the world on your shoulders. Perhaps you'll discover, through practice, an instinctive ability that allows you to shrug the weight off through solutions that naturally come to mind, without thinking.

By the way, I know the not thinking thing sounds a bit weird but I believe most of us have had that experience on more than one occasion where a solution naturally comes to mind, without us thinking it up. When someone says 'That's brilliant, where did that come from?', often our response will be 'I have absolutely no idea'. I've found the more you practice opening your mind to allow stuff to naturally come in, the better you get at it. As they say 'Practice makes perfect' or close to it.

🙂

[Markusnz]

Hay Bearzy9# from my own life experience I would say that having Anxiety about a potential injury, when you already have an injury is a very valid response.

Rugby is a very physical game that I have not played in many years. I totally understand the feeling of desire and the pressure to do your best.

I'm a father now with a 14 year old son who doesn't play much sport at all. Not because he doesn't want to, but because he has a health condition that makes his joints very prone to dislocations. He has partially dislocated both knees a few times and fully dislocated the same knee twice.

As a father I want my son to be able to do what ever makes him happy. But I also want my son to stay safe and healthy. Sometimes it can be tricky to do both. But not impossible.

I think the most important thing here is having the support from family and friends.

Have you ever had a problem where you sat down with a mate and brain stormed a solution?

How about thinking of managing injury anxiety as a team sport.

Its great to be able to keep doing the things we love. But we do need to take steps to minimise the risk of injury, and by doing so hopefully relieve some of the anxiety around it.

I hope this is useful to you in some way.

[Miz]

Hi Bearzy9,

I'm sorry to hear you've been going through it - although I agree with what most people have said that this is a completely normal. I wonder though have you tried talking to any of your teammates or coach about it? It is my experience that these feelings of anxiety are very normal in sport - particularly in a team sport. Many of my friends who play rugby feel this similar anxiety. Sometimes they say that talking about it to someone can help lift some of that weight off you shoulders and maybe mean you can still play. Sharing the burden can help!

Hope you find some of this useful!