The fear has returned, worse than before . . .

[TheoloNerd]

Hi all,

My anxiety had been reasonably low for a while. However, I made a series of errors at work (for which I went through a bunch of really awkward meetings), and now it's back in full force. It's a SATURDAY MORNING, and I've already had to fight off two attacks. I even had an unpleasant anxiety-themed dream last night.

I know I'll get better, but right now I'm not okay . . .

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi TheoloNerd,

Thanks for posting. I'm sorry that you've had such a difficult morning and I hope things can get better for you.

What sort of techniques do you use when you are feeling this way? How can we support you during this time?

[Starwolf]

Hi TheoloNerd,

Making mistakes is unfortunately the way we humans learn, unfortunately a part of everyone's life.Though it makes self confidence take a nose dive, it also shows where we went wrong so that the course can be corrected. Awkward meetings are hard to cope with at the best of times but when suffering anxiety, any added stress can easily trigger another attack. Does your work place have a staff support section ?

Have you checked Relaxed Breathing and Body Scan techniques ? Many people find them helpful. Both can be googled. Perhaps they can help you too over this rough patch.

I hope the rest of the weekend will be kinder to you and that peace of mind will soon return.

[PatT]

Hi Thelonerd,

I've been having a rough couple of weeks and can relate to how you're feeling. One thing that always helps me is the knowledge that it will get better and that your anxiety is never permanent. Some days and weeks will be worse than others and your present mental state may feel like an eternity but it will get better. In the meantime doing things to distract yourself is the best way to quicken the pace of change. Exercise, socialising, avoiding caffeine etc.

[TheoloNerd]

Hi all. Thanks to those who posted. It's great to not be alone!

I have a good psychologist who gets me, and she's helping me with my self-talk, which is very helpful once an attack starts. However, I wish I was able to put up some kind of a barrier to protect me from it starting in the first place.

I think my condition is more a specific phobia than GAD; it's triggered by meetings. Which is awkward given that I'm a teacher and was once a church leader; that's kind of like a fish being frightened of water! 🙂

Even simple meetings like Parent-Teacher interviews are frightening. However, when there actually is an issue for me to overcome I go WAY OUT. That's when anxiety really kicks into high gear. And often (like this weekend) the anxiety monster eats up so much time that should be spent in other ways; I had a lot of marking to do plus a College assignment (I'm doing a Masters part time right now), and I was really not capable of doing it all.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi TheoloNerd,

Thanks for posting back! Great to hear from you again.

It sounds like you've been really proactive in seeing a psychologist to help you deal with this anxiety, and also being really aware of what triggers your anxiety (meetings). Self-talk is such a great tool in managing both the lead-up as well as the onset of the attack.

Often people who have anxiety attacks find that they notice and work on their self-talk after the attack has started. By this point though the physical symptoms have already come on - such as a racing heart or feeling sweaty. Is this the same for you? At what point are you aware or working on your self-talk?

Knowing that meetings trigger your anxiety is a great insight, as it means that you can focus your attention onto strategies that you find calming. What is it about the meetings that make you anxious? I know often with my anxiety I overthink a lot, so for me imagining the worst-case scenario ironically helps - because I know that even in the worst case scenario, I can still cope. For you the worst case scenario might look like having an anxiety attack in front of people, but in reality if that were to happen people would be caring, understanding and helpful.

Other techniques that can help anxiety include; body scan meditations, mindfulness work, muscle tension and release exercises, breathing exercises, colouring (or any sort of creative work really) and exercise.

Hope this helps -

[james1]

Hi TheoloNerd,

I don't really have anything to add to everyone else's wonderful suggestions and comments above.

I read your other thread earlier as well where you seemed a bit unsure about your capability as a teacher with anxiety.

I just wanted to say thanks for being a teacher. I think it's such a difficult profession, no matter what age the students, yet it's also one of the most important ones in society.

I know I couldn't handle it, so I'm always grateful and amazed when I see wonderful caring people like yourself in teaching.

Don't forget to remind yourself throughout the day of the good you're doing for others as a teacher. You deserve your leadership role and people are really benefitting from being around you - now it's just a matter of making sure you take care of yourself as well.

James

[Starwolf]

Hi TheoloNerd,

I'll second James endorsement...teaching is a great, important role, though responsibilities involved can be scary at times. Suffering anxiety doesn't help...

Working on a Masters as well ? There's a lot on your plate right now. No wonder this pressure feels overwhelming...That's why taking good care of yourself is a priority. Help and support will make it a lot easier.

Well done for taking the proactive approach. I am so glad you have a therapist you can connect and work with. The mind can become too complicated a maze to negotiate. A trustworthy guide is a valuable asset.

A protective wall to keep negative self talk at bay would improve our lifestyle. But with persistence, returning to the silent center can be achieved. The unruly mind can be trained to become aware of its own activity, catch a negative thought as soon as it arises, before it has time to take hold. And replace it with a more positive version...or acknowledge it and toss it in the mental trash basket (don't forget to empty it often, it fills up fast). Much of the time, self talk is a constant background noise. It affects every area of our life. It is anxiety or depression talking, shouting over the voice of reason to silence it. Strengthening this reasonable part of the mind doesn't come easy but it can be done.

Every cyclone has its calm center which is also the source of this chaotic activity. You are an ex church leader...so I think you understand that this stillness can be accessed, however elusive it may be. Abiding in it is the challenge.