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Terribile Anxiety
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Hi all
I'm new here...thought Id drop in. I have had bad anxiety all my life, has got worse in the last 5 years - but well managed and not on meds. My mother had crippling anxiety as well, and depression kind of runs in the family.
I have two kids, 15 and 12. I am having ongoing, crippling panic attacks that one of them will end up with a serious mental illness such as Schizophrenia - particularly as my cousin has it. This fear is paralysing me and I am absolutely convinced this is going to happen. I look out for every sign (my two boys suffer anxiety, my eldest is prone to anger outbursts, and he was born emergency c-section and had allergies etc and medical difficulties - nothing serious - when he was younger) and I can't move, sleep, talk or anything. It never goes away and sometimes I can't even work or function because of this. I read statistics about the chances of this happening and then my fear skyrockets. I don't know what to do - I don't fear anything else (drugs, violence, physical illness etc) but only this. I'm not sure where to go for help - it's a form of hypochondria which I have about myself, too) projected on my kids and I just want to crawl under a bed and sleep forever, wanting the years to pass quickly so that it can just 'happen' and they can be 'diagnosed' and then I won't need to think about it. I don't know if I am irrational or if I have something serious to worry about, if they recurrent odd behaviour. I feel they have a tendency to anxiety but they are doing well at school, lots of friends, have a loving extended family, and very open communicators - very happy kids. I can't stand this anymore - does anyone have a similar anxiety around mental/physical health of their children? I am just convinced this is going to happen.
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Welcome to the forum, Ainslie.
Anxiety tends to override everything else. It is outside the scope of reason and logic. Not a good space to be in at all.The good news is, with the right help and support, it can be managed.
I am glad you have joined the forums. Sharing your concerns is a brave and wise first step.Well done !
The fact that your children now show every sign of being well adjusted sticks out of your post. Teenage (and pre-teenage) are difficult years, a time of hormonal shifts and emotional unrest. Most young people feel anxious at times. You say yours are good communicators. What a blessing this is...it would make them more likely to share any issues and concerns they may have. No problem has raised its head so far. Most of the scary scenarios the troubled mind concocts never make it into reality.
I feel your priority right now is your own emotional well being. Your anxiety IS an issue that makes you stressed and miserable. Your kids are doing well. You are not. Struggling alone is too difficult and unnecessary. I'd suggest you have an open, honest conversation with your GP. You may need referral to a counselor or therapist to help you over this distressful situation. You deserve to reclaim some peace of mind and your children deserve their Mum to remain strong and stable.
Researching complementary coping strategies would also be helpful (like mindfulness, Relaxed Body Scan, Breath work etc...). Smiling mind is an useful app. Of course these strategies can't replace counseling and they need to be practiced consistently in our calmest moments to become effective when we need it most.
Navigating the forums is also a good distraction. There will always be someone to listen. It sometimes takes time for responses to get through but rest assured you will be heard.
Good to have you on board.
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Hi AinslieB,
Thank you for sharing your story. You sound very scared and really frustrated. I experience panic attacks too and I can resonate with your feelings of fear and distress.
By reading statistics about the chances that your fear will come true can make the situation worse. Dr. Google can bring us up or down according to what we need (think) at the moment. The most appropriate source of advice would be your gp or specialist. Information found online is only indicative of a situation and combines various factors to create an outcome.
What do you know about panic attacks though?Maybe you can give some attention to this part of the story which is very important if not the most important. Your thoughts (coming from your experiences, online information, books, environment etc) trigger a physical reaction which results in a panic attack (anxiety)
To gain control over a panic attack it is important to learn and practice anxiety management techniques such as progressive muscle relaxation, meditation, breathing, mindfulness. Here is a guided progressive muscle relaxation audio file you can practice (under relaxation training):
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/treatment-options/other-sources-of-support
Its is very important to use these techniques regularly in order to manage your anxiety before it happens and become more confident gradually.
It is usually the outcome of a situation that keeps us stuck and scared however, let's look at what fuels our thoughts and how we can create a healthier daily life minimising anxiety and improving wellbeing. Using these techniques will help you create a different outcome.
Hope I helped a bit.
Cheers
Anton
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