Suicidal thoughts

Guest_00234230

For about a month and a half I have been in a depression and anxiety hole that I can't seem to get out of, the constant depression and intrusive thoughts are taxing and I don't see how I can maintain this.

My depression and anxiety make my IBS symptoms worse which gets me deeper into the hole and then they play on each other.

Most days I am waking up sad and going asleep sad, I actually look forward to going to bed so I don't have to feel anything.

I just broke down to my partner and told her all this and how suicide keeps creeping into my mind.

My GP and therapist are away until mid January.

I keep saying to myself let's just get through today but how many times is that going to work.

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Sorry to hear you are feeling this way. I think it would be worth seeing another GP and therapist in the intervening period as that is a long time to go without medical and psychological support. It sounds like a pressing issue that needs to be addressed as it sounds like you are feeling overwhelmed. Do you think some time off work to organise appointments and rest would be useful?

Hayden

Hi mate. Your speaking up, so that’s the first challenge. I’m sorry to hear that your GP and therapist are away till mid January. You’ve been so strong to keep going all this time. Please reach out to the many 24/7 contact numbers that are available to you when you have these thoughts. They are there to support you. It’s hard but we hear you and acknowledge your struggles.

Psychdiaries2

Hi there,

I’m so sorry to hear about the tough time you’re going through right now. Thank you for sharing.

Have you tried breathing techniques for anxiety? It’s something that has been a lifesaver for me. For example, breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 7, release for 8. It’s worth a try since it really helps you to focus on the present moment and calms your body. As for intrusive thoughts and depression, I understand how exhausting the weight of it can be. Maybe you can try to practice gratitude by naming random things you are grateful for throughout the day. It really shifts your perspective over time.

I hope these strategies help you. They are not ‘quick fixes’, but have definitely helped me so much in tough times over the last few years and in my healing.

Sending love ❤️

sbella02

Hey there,

Thank you so much for posting here, and we warmly welcome you to the forums.

I'm sorry to hear that you've found yourself in this depression and anxiety hole. That sounds really challenging. Thank you for finding the strength to share your experience with us. Firstly, taking it day by day is always a good idea, even moment by moment can help.

Sometimes it can offer some reassurance to remember than thoughts are just thoughts and don't always reflect reality. It is important to keep in mind that sometimes our brains will wander and trap ourselves in this emotional prison that's guarded by our most unhelpful thoughts.

But, as somebody who also gets intrusive thoughts, I know how powerful and hard to ignore they can be.

What helps me is having a journal to document my thoughts and feelings when I'm at my lowest. Often for me, it's a spiral of those thoughts that leads me there: it could be something like XYZ happened at work again, this always happens, maybe it's my fault, I'm not good enough, what's the point... etc. etc. Your thought spiral might be similar, or it might not. Either way, it could be really effective to write out what you're feeling in those really low moments, just to keep a record and to express some of those difficult emotions so they're not weighing down your head. It can help to ease the emotional burden a touch.

I can also relate to the feeling of looking forward to bed, as it can be like an escape. Are there other things you could do in your downtime that also give you the same feeling, like reading, or doing crosswords, or watching TV?

It's also good to hear that you've got your partner to talk to as well. What was their reaction? What do they do that you consider supportive when you're feeling low, if anything? Otherwise, it can help to let them know how to support you best in those moments - being a listening ear, calling Lifeline on your behalf, taking you to a safe place, giving you a hug, etc.

I hope some of this resonates with you, please feel free to chat more with us if you'd like, we're here to help.

All the best, SB