Sudden anxiety at a critical moment in my life

[DavidLikesGoats]

Hi my name is David, I'm in my 20s. I've struggled with mental health issues for as long as I can remember. When I was seven or eight I was diagnosed with autism and saw a therapist through primary school. Later in high school I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety.

I have recently started my third year of University. I failed a couple semesters due to poor time management and mental health issues. At the same time as this I've had a sudden period of really bad anxiety that's lasted weeks. I've had a lot of nausea, been unable to eat much food without gagging, and have a lot of tension and tremors in my body. I think I've lost about 10% of my bodyweight because of this...

The mental stuff is really hard to deal with too. Every morning I'm convinced the world is going to end very soon. I get fearful that learning and reading about the things I love (art and art history) will make my anxiety worse and worse... I'm lucky I have a few friends I can reach out to but I don't want to bother or scare them since they have busier lives than me. In recent days my paranoia about a coming apocalypse has caused me to think of suicide a lot... Not as something I want to do now, but as a "way out" if things get too bad. I don't want to think like that and it scares me that I feel like I have to.

I was really looking forward to my next semester, but the quality of my favourite class, mandarin Chinese, has suddenly dropped with budget cuts. I've looked into student advocacy and they told me some things I might be able to do, but the whole process has been stressful... It's compounded my feelings that I should change courses.

Anyway I wanted to write down how I'm feeling so I could look back on it again and ask for some support or advice. If anyone's been in a similar situation please let me know.

[indigo22]

Hi David,

Welcome and thank you for reaching out to us.

I'm sorry to hear how much you are struggling at the moment, I am guessing the pressure you are under at Uni is putting an extra burden on your mental health. Suicidal thoughts are nothing to be ashamed of, most of the people on the forums have been there, including myself. But it does indicate that you are not coping and that it is time to get some regular professional help while you are struggling.

Are you currently getting any support from a counsellor and/or medication?

Have you seen your GP about the physical problems and weight loss?

Without knowing the answer to those questions, I can give you helpline numbers to call and speak to a professional in real time. Please put these numbers into your phone so you have access to help when you need it. We can still support you but the response time will vary on the forums.

You said you are in your 20s, so not certain if the following helpline is appropriate

Kid's Helpline - up to 25 years - available 24/7 - 1800 55 1800

The following helplines are appropriate for any age

Lifeline - available 24/7 - 13 11 14

Beyond Blue - available 24/7 - 1300 224 636

There is also a thread that you may find helpful, many community members have contributed to it over the years and perhaps you will find something that works for you.

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/self-help-tips-for-managing-anxiety/td-p/50482

Please feel free to continue the conversation if you are comfortable doing so.

Take good care of yourself,

indigo

[DavidLikesGoats]

Hi Indigo,

Thanks for responding. Today I saw my therapist who helped me make sense of a lot of stuff that's been going on. I also have an appointment with my GP coming up this Wednesday to talk about restarting SSRIs and my weight loss.

I'm feeling more stable now. After my appointment I had lunch with my dad, had a long bath with a cup of herbal tea, cleaned my room up a bit and played an old video game. Right now I'm watching a calming, optimistic movie. I also reached out to my friends to see when they'd like to hang out.

However I still feel pretty isolated and worried about how I'll tackle the next week. I'm glad there's going to be some rain and cooler temperatures tomorrow so I'll be able to sleep better. I'm still worried about a lot of things in the wider world, but I think a lot of it just reflects my own problems and personal anxieties.

Tomorrow I want to catch up with some work and read on the porch if it's raining. I should also email my lecturers too... I won't let this become a to-do list, but I always end up doing something if I've told someone I will 🙂

[indigo22]

Hey David,

I'm glad to hear you are feeling a little better and made some connections with your support people today. 

I hope your appointment with your GP goes well, going back on meds may be helpful for you at present. I have been dealing with dysthymia and major depression since my early teens (now in my 60s) and I have been on the same meds for the past 18 years because they keep me stabilised.

I would like to give you the most important piece of advice I can offer. Stop watching, listening to and reading news. The media generates fear in people intentionally, so be kind to yourself and pay less attention to the world and more attention to getting well. I have not watched the news or bought a newspaper in my entire adult life, it just makes me angry because it's so biased, why would I want to live like that every day? If something important is happening, you will hear about it in the conversations of people around you.

I will be around whenever you need some support.

In the meantime, enjoy your day tomorrow and try to get some rest.

indigo