Stuck in a loop

[Renaexoxo]

Hey everyone! I have never posted on here before but i have been looking for a bit of help in this particular area for a while, be gentle. These last few months have been the hardest for me anxiety and depression wise. And for the first time im living by myself. I thought that having my own place would make me feel better, but it has just paved the way to unhealthy coping techniques cause no one is around to judge me. The only thing that gives me instant relief from the pain is alcohol. Im drinking alot now, every night because it makes me feel temporarily okay. That is until im im a night club environment, everything just becomes a bit too much and the alcohol makes that worse. So thats where the recreational drugs come into play. Which obviously makes me feel great for a couple of hours but then you crash pretty hard. My come downs can last for days and its is just constant, soal shredding anxiety. And the only way for me to relieve that is to drink. Im drinking to counteract the negative effects of drugs, drugs that i took when the alcohol wasnt enough. Im just stuck in the loop and i dont know how to get out. Has anyone else struggled with some form of addiction as a result of their anxiety?

[Birdy77]

Dear Renae,

Welcome to the forums, it's really great that you've found your way here and had the courage to post about what's going on for you.

There will be many people who read your words and will be able to relate it to their own life and issues. I certainly can.

I totally understand how you felt that living alone would help you feel better, more freedom etc. But when the unhealthy coping mechanisms take hold, it can be even harder because in a way there is no one to be accountable to - you can do as you please because nobody is there to see what you're doing.

It's great that you recognise what's happening, with the loop of alcohol, partying, drugs, crashing, then it all starts again.

You are a big step of the way to helping yourself by simply recognising it, and for it to have only been a few months, you are doing a lot better than many, myself included.

Have you sought any help or support for your anxiety? I am thinking that if you had some other supports in place, it may alleviate your reliance on the booze for a start, and so help to break your cycle. I have a counsellor I talk to when i need to, but i also have found a real help with some herbal supplements that only the chemist can give you (so a bit stronger than the shelf kind) and even just having these at my disposal is a help to me, to know I have something that will support me.

Of course a doctor will be able to help with other appropriate things, counselling and medicine maybe ... but this is what has helped me lately, and I'm coming from a place of understanding the attraction if the booze, believe me!

Please keep chatting here, talking to people who understand and care and no judgement: makes the world of difference.

Take care of you.

🌻birdy

[Soberlicious96]

HI Renaexoxo,

"Has anyone else struggled with some form of addiction as a result of their anxiety?" OH MY GOODNESS YES!!! sorry, don't mean to 'yell' and get overexcited, but you are telling my story right there!

I was 15 when I started drinking and using recreational drugs for my anxiety and PTSD ..... and only 11 short years later, I was a MESS. Worse than I had been before I started drinking and using drugs. I was having trouble at work, at home, with my finances, with my family ... and infinitum to the list. And I kept doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result.

I too reached a point where I realised I was "stuck in the loop" and wanted a way out. And I found it!

As you can see by my name - Soberlicious - I am (now) a sober person. That means I have not had a single alcoholic drink, nor a recreational drug for some time now. And I can tell you that it is by far the best decision I have ever made.

If you have decided you want to break the cycle, but don't really know how, may I suggest that the next thing you pick up, when looking for relief, instead of a drink, is pick up the phone and call 1300 AA AA AA (1300 22 22 22). That's the national number for Alcoholics Anonymous, and there you find help, hope, and people who have been stuck in the loop just like you, and me, but who have found a way out.

Maybe AA is not for you, I don't know. Only you can decide that. What I suggest is to attend at least a half a dozen meetings before you really decide. But I can tell you this; addiction is progressive. It does not stand still, and it does not get better with 'practice'. It will only ever get worse.There is no requirement to attend a meeting; you can turn up to any meeting at any time.

If you have any other questions, or need more information, please don't hesitate to call the number above, or just ask on here. I am more than happy to help if I can. xo