Struggles of dealing with anxiety and work

[spiral123]

Hi all, this is my first post in the forum.

I need some perspective into what I should do in my current situation.

I struggle with social anxiety every day and it significantly interferes with my well-being at work. I work in an office job and the role is suited to an extrovert. I will avoid social interactions where I can at work and I have found that if someone new comes into the office, at times I won't introduce myself and make small talk due to my social fear and I am worried this might come across as being rude. Every time the phone at work rings, I get a fear that it is a client calling for me to complain to me about something. I struggle to run through things with my boss as he can be very straight to the point and blunt, which cause me to freeze in fear with the worry that I am going to say something stupid or wrong. The stress and anxiety I feel at work has impacted my health and well being.I find the constant fight of keeping to tight deadlines and dealing with my anxiety puts a massive weight on my shoulders or like I struggle to breathe.

I feel like this feeling is becoming too much and that I need to leave my job to focus on creating a life for myself where I don't feel like I carry such a heavy burden. My dilemma is that I have only been in this job for 3 months which wont look good and I know my family will be disappointed if I leave. At this point though, I feel stuck as I don't know how much longer I can deal with juggling my anxiety and this job or alternatively, the thought of facing my boss to resign and sitting my family down and explaining to them why I want to leave my job. Has anyone been in a similar situation?

[smallwolf]

Hi spiral123 and welcome to beyond blue.

Could you tell me a little about the work you do?

The reason I ask is that I work(ed) in IT and in my position I would typically deal with the problems that others could not resolve. So a customer would typically be irate (already) and sometime at the end of their tether. Anyway it got to a stage where every phone call I received I expected to be dealing with angry customers and I did not want to answer the phone. To make it worse I would, before answering the call jump to the worst case scenario before answering the call. And I did not have any means of managing or coping with my feelings. While my situation was not like yours exactly, this were not working for me and I started seeking help.

So what can you do? Some suggestions:

• there are threads on the forum about grounding and mindfulness you might find helpful.
• have a chat with your GP about how you are feeling and talk about the options to getting better. They may refer to a counsellor or psychologist or ????
• perhaps there might be someone at work you could confide in as well

When I spoke with my parents about my job, they suggested before anything else to talk to my boss about the situation, which I did.

You may find ways of dealings with stress and pressures of work either on this site or with support. Space prevents me from writing too much, and I do not want to overburden you with questions or information. I hope you come back and we can chat some more later.

Tim

[CoraC]

Hi spiral

i could have written your post myself, word for word.

i am still trying to work out the best way of dealing with these feelings. Unfortunately I go through a cycle where I do exactly what you describe, get overwhelmed and leave after a few months. I can't begin to think how many times I've done that. I think i am looking for something that doesn't exist, a job that I can cope with.

just wanting to empathise with you. One day I hope we can find something that suits us.

[Gellical_Cat]

Hi spiral123,

I totally emphathise with you. Most days I feel the same at my job as I can easily retreat into being an introvert, no matter how much I talk and try to make light of my situation. Couple of things have helped me in the past:

1) Imagine taking your spiritual body away from your surroundings and view yourself from way up above the clouds

2) Repeat a mantra over and over in your head like “I am enough” or “I got this”

3) Approach everything with love so your nerves don’t feel frayed

4) Meditate for at least 5 mins everyday

5) Go out for microwalks and practice deep breathing

6) Wear a soothing scent on your wrists that you can come back to when you are feeling anxious

A lot of these have helped me over the years, but I’m still a work in progress. I’m currently working on knowing my triggers and finding solutions to them. Is it possible for a group of us with similar experiences such as this to meet up? I work in a very similar environment in a role that expects an extrovert, but more often than not I don’t make too much small talk.

Speaking to total strangers is an absolute joy for me, but building relationships with people I know is much harder, particularly if I’m not liked (or perceive/manifest it as such).