Stressing.Depressed.

[Wolf]

Hi, I guess this is my first posting and Im not sure how I go about this. I had a breakdown a couple of years back and since then Ive not been myself. I used to be easy going and now Im getting better but Im in a relationship and its at the place where Ive been anxious a lot and snapping at people in my new family. Not yet married but she has 3 kids and I have 2 of my own who live with their mother. 

Seems when ever the ex is causing problems I get worse. Ive gotten so bad I yell a lot. I never touch them but the yelling causes issues with my partner being in the middle. Im seeing a counsellor but Im not sure if thats helping or not. Mental health recently suggested I see a psychologist through a group they recommend or do referrals to and Ive had my medication doubled to try to help. 

My issue right now is when I get anxious I tend to hide away using my phone or iPad as a crutch. I don't know how to stop using it and it can be at any time. A family event shopping or even dealing with at times not being able to leave the house. Its causing issues now too. Yet its the one thing I find I can escape the stress with. Nobody in the family seems to understand the stress and anxiety Ive been going through or how I feel. My partner says she's been there but she doesn't seem to understand how Im feeling when it happens. Hell I don't even understand it at times. I just get emotional and in tears all of a sudden and I don't know what to do about it. 

I want to retreat to calm down sometimes but I never seem to be able to be left alone to deal with things going on in my head and I need help. I can't keep dumping my problems on my friends all the time. And I worry I will never find the right person to get help from. I don't know where to go or who to be able to just let everything out to and I don't want to lose my partner and her kids who I love so much as my own. 

Can anyone help me with advice. I really need a place or something to let my concerns out and destress. I don't want to bottle things and I can't right now talk to my partner or her family. And my family. You can forget me turning to them for understanding. They have no clue how I feel or where to begin. 

[Substituder]

Hi Wolf,

I know what it feels like when you don't feel like the people around you understand what is going on inside, and you feel close to breaking. The swarm of people probably doesn't help your situation but you have to hang in there, all will pass.

You said you are currently seeing a counsellor, in my experience they are good with talking through what you're feeling but I think if they have referred you on then something more is going on.

Go to your local GP, they can refer to you psychologists and start you on a health plan because you don't have to deal with this alone. You can talk to your psychologist and in time you will learn coping skills that will hopefully help you. Unfortunately there isn't an easy way out, you will have to prepare yourself to ride the waves until one day you look back and see the water is calm 🙂

You always have this forum to express yourself as well, I find that very helpful during dark times.

All the best.

[Wolf]

I just wanted to update this post, I went through 3 counselling groups and in the end found help through a university psychology student supervised at the uni. I did Cognitive Behaviour Therapy and it helped a lot. Also through a life coach I got to a recovery self help group and have been med and counselling free since september last year and been a lot better. Still stress minor times but I am recovering and stronger and feeling happy within myself.

to any who read this know that its possible to have a better life. Stay strong, ask for help. Its possible to get over the hurdles.