Stressed about everything...

[Aussie.Girl]

Hi, this is the first time I've actually posted here. I guess I just need somewhere to vent, but If I can get some advice too that would be great.

Reasons I'm stressed...

I have a horse who is currently agisted (which basically means I 'rent' a paddock to keep him in). Unfortunately the property has been sold and I can't find anywhere suitable to move him to. I am honestly not being picky; I just want somewhere safe, reasonably close and not extremely expensive. Unfortunately most of the land nearby (within 1hr drive) is being developed so there aren't many places to choose from and most are $200+ a week.

I'm in my early twenties and live with my family. We have to move house at some stage in the near future (for various reasons). I really don't want to move away from the house I've lived in my whole life, but at the same time I'd love to live somewhere I could have my horse at home.

I'm currently in a lockdown area, and feel really guilty about being at home not doing anything 'productive'. Does anyone else constantly feel like you're 'running out of time' for no reason?

Also regarding lockdown, I'm finding it a bit 'difficult' everyone being home constantly. Don't get me wrong; I love my family, but I share a room & with everyone at home there's nowhere I can go to get some alone time (I'm an introvert in case it wasn't obvious). I miss being able to have space to myself to read in silence or sing without disturbing anyone.

The fact that everyone else in the household is stressed too (again for various reasons) doesn't exactly help.

I don't have any friends (aside from pets and family). I mean this quite literally. I grew apart from my high school friends years ago and while I am on 'friendly' terms with my co-workers they are all significantly older than me so we just don't have that much in common. It usually doesn't bother me - again I'm being completely honest here, but sometimes I find there are things I'd like to do or talk about with friends and I can't.

There are more examples, but it's not things I want to share. Thanks for reading this far & sorry if it comes across as just me complaining about everything.

If you have any advice regarding the above, please let me know.

[Amanda2000]

Hi Aussie.Girl

I'm so glad you've spoken out. Finally a like-minded person! I've been overwhelmed by the presence of my family at home 24/7 too. I think my condition has become social anxiety within my own home. I don't talk much to them and I avoid going into shared areas like the kitchen until I hear no one is there. I can only stand being with them at the dinner-table during meal times. I don't know whether I can go on another family-holiday with them ever again.

YES - I constantly feel like I'm 'running out of time' for no reason. Not having to commute to work should give me more free-time and more time to sleep. But I've been finding things more difficult working-from-home. Not having the separation makes it very difficult to concentrate during my work-hours and then unable to switch-off at the end of the day to enjoy the evenings.

I try to tell myself this is just a temporary phase in life. What else can you do?!

Happy to chat more!

[jtjt_4862]

Hi Aussie.Girl,

Thank you for sharing with us on how you're feeling. I'm really glad that you were able to post in the BB Forums. When you mentioned "there are things I'd like to do or talk about with friends and I can't." I resonated with that because I often wonder to myself "I have online friends, but I can't seem to have nice meaningful conversations with them. I usually shy away and stay quiet, but deep down I wish I could share whatever it is that I feel". I figured it was my inability to be vulnerable and open with others. That fear that my words may end up hurting someone. In relationships among friends and family, it's such a strange concept that it's okay to hurt someone when expressing how you feel. I'm still working through this problem, but I am grateful for my parent's support. I broke down in front of them about my struggle to express my feelings and emotions, but the fear of hurting them if I do so. (I love them very much).

I'm really sorry to hear about how you're feeling. When you mention the feeling of 'running out of time', do you mean this as an example:

" I really want to get X and Y done, but I just can't get myself to doing it and find myself procrastinating. When I actually get to do X and Y, I've wasted a lot of time and there's not much time left to finish it. I feel ashamed for not being able to get X and Y done that I had initially planned to do so, and guilty for wasting my time when I could've done X and Y"

Happy to listen to you and chat more if there's anything else you'd like to share.

Jt

[Sal559]

I'm sorry you are feeling this way Aussie.Girl and I can empathise with those feelings too. I too am finding lockdown is wrecking havoc with my "productivity", perhaps both real and perceived. Lockdown has made everything so much harder in general.

Last year I was living with my ex-partner and his family and also felt like I couldn't get away from anything. I remember absolutely losing it one time because I'd been stressed all week and the moment I sat down thinking I finally had a moment to myself, I was interrupted by my partner. I now have the opposite problem, where my partner and I have split up and now I live alone. Usually I like it, but sometimes it can feel very lonely as well. Everyone needs a balance of social and alone time, but everyone's ratio is different. Most of us are not getting the balance we need during lockdown.

Have you thought about reaching out to your high school friends or making some new ones? There are some people I started talking to again during lockdown, friends I haven't spoken to in years even, and that was immensely helpful. I'm sure your old friends would love to hear from you—perhaps they are also feeling the same way as you and would like someone to talk to as well.

[Positive_vibes89]

Dear Aussie.Girl,

I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing a tough time during this uncertainty we are experiencing due to Covid. It is difficult for us to live a normalised life wilst we feel prisioner within our own home. If you can, try going for a walk around the block to get some fresh air. Going outside may help you feel less anxious and to have a break. One of the best things that helps is to draw or color. Using your artistic side can cause one to feel relaxed and will direct your attention to putting your emtional energy into your art piece or picture.