Dear Bec
Hello and welcome. Thank you for telling us about yourself. Your list of situations that cause you anxiety is one I would not have the nerve to write. Congratulations for getting it off your chest. You certainly sound anxious about a number of things that many people would not think twice about. And of course that's the problem. No one else considers these thoughts worth more than a second's consideration, while for you they are all consuming.
When you are anxious it is normal to worry about about events that may be trivial to other people. We all have our moments of self doubt and fear. No one wants to look silly in public. I find loud noises, no matter what the source, to be highly stressful. This stems from a part of my life where loud voices were a frequent occurrence. It's got better over the years but still makes me jumpy and nervous.
It sounds as though it is the reaction to whatever you do that worries you. Not that something you do is wrong but which may be seen by others to be wrong. From your list it is appears that having attention focussed on you is what is scary. The various events you have listed are the reasons, or potential reasons, you may be under scrutiny. Not comfortable.
OK, so what can you do about it? Does it help if someone tells you in advance what to say, wear, do? I am wondering if a phone call to one of your close friends to run through the event you are going to attend would be useful. Having a second opinion may help you to feel more comfortable.
I also believe it would help you to talk to someone about your fears. Can you talk to your mom? Does she know how you feel about these social occasions? I think this would be a good start and also help you get some confidence. I also suggest you and your mom go and see your GP. If you tell mom about the things you have written above, or simply print out your post and show her, she will have a more clear idea of your feelings. Then, if you go to the GP, mom will be able to support you more and help the GP understand where you are coming from.
I think you will need someone to go with you, to hold your hand so to speak. Mom is usually the best person but if you prefer your dad or one of your siblings that's OK. Please try and tell them about your feelings beforehand. Printing out this post is useful.
Also, do you know much about anxiety, other than yours I mean. Beyond Blue has heaps of information so browse under The Facts at the top[ of the page.
Mary
