Social anxiety, trust issue, job hunting, financial hardship

[Corn_L]

Hi everyone, background info: I was first suffered from social anxiety 7 years ago. I easily get anxious when I meet people who are loud-spoken, impolite/disrespectful.
I made my first post last year regarding my driving anxiety. After that stressful driving test, I took a break from full-time work. I could only work from home and did some one-off online jobs. Until November 2021, I was able to get a temp job and I worked full-time till March this year. I was great in those months. I was able to have face-to-face interactions and make new friends at different occasions.
However, in late March, I got scammed and lost some money. And I felt like I can't trust anyone anymore. Since then, I became really alert. As I have completed my temp job contract, some of my workmate wanna know about my future plans. I no longer felt comfortable to discuss with them.And I can't take advice from anyone.
In April, I had a big argument with my partner regarding job hunting. He said I just sit at home all day, not willing to work. I said I really need a break coz I lost my confidence. In all these years struggling with anxiety, I only rely on my own savings. I have never applied for any government support nor borrowing money. I'm independent, why can't I choose to have a break and look after myself?
However, maybe what my partner said was right. Even I chose to take a break, I couldn't look after myself well. In April & May, I only hid in the house. All humans made me feel anxious. Even if I needed to post something at the post office, I struggled for 2 weeks until my partner forced me to get into the car. No matter who pressed the door bell, I would not open the door. What's more embarrassing? I don't want to shower or get changed. I didn't make/answer any phone calls. Just wanted to isolate myself.
Recently, when I went to a checkup (physical health), I got told that I need to have some treatment & surgery. I have completed some minor treatment few days ago which costed me a fortune. So, I told myself these days, I must get a job. Otherwise I can't afford the medical expenses (I am not Australian citizen & I don't have medicare/other support). Unfortunately, I got scammed again, on Facebook. I worked & never get paid. I really hate myself for being so stupid.
Can anyone relate to me? I am hard working and I want to be independent, but I just can't find a job that suits me. I don't want to be seen as a loser/lazy person. Please give me some advise? TIA

[Sophie_M]

Dear Corn L,

We would like to welcome you to our helpful and supportive community. We also want to commend you for finding the inner strength and courage to post about your struggles in the forum. We know how difficult this can be to start posting.

We understand that you are feeling trapped in your anxiety, and like you don't know anything because you were tricked by scammers.

We would really like you to try to realise that scamming is very large international business. It is quite profitable crime because almost everyone is scammed at least once. And, most people are so embarrassed about being tricked that they never tell anybody. So, you really demonstrate lots of strength because you are actually talking about it.

We understand that social anxiety can be extremely debilitating. It can cause you to completely disconnect from everyone.

Unfortunately, as you do not have Medicare, our normal advice will not help because you cannot get a mental health plan. Instead, we would like to encourage you to call BeyondBlue Support counsellors at 1300 22 4636, or Lifeline on 13 1114, as both of these services are free, and both run 24 hours per day, every day of the year.

We look forward to learning what other advice our wonderful community tells you.

Please remember that we are always here for you.

Warm regards,

Sophie M.

[Corn_L]

Dear Sophie,

Thanks so much for your reply.

Unfortunately, talking on the phone can also make me anxious. But I tried to use the 'chat online' service on Beyond Blue couple of times. I felt a bit better after chatting with the counsellor there. I do appreciation their service. But I couldn't get any 'practical support' from them. Mainly because they have time limit on each client. They can only spend 5-10 mins with me.

Once I chatted with one of the beyond Blue counsellors. She suggested me to contact Centrelink. But the reality is that Centrelink can't offer any support for temp visa holders. The conversation I had with Centrelink was very frustrating. Apart from my visa issue, their staff said something like 'you should be able to find a job easily with your education background and qualification. Try a bit harder...' This experience made me feel that asking for help might be wrong.

I never aimed to take advantage of the welfare system/any person as a foreigner. I studied in Australia for years. I paid full tuition fee (international student rate) & had good academic results. Also, I used to work professionally here and spent time doing voluntary work. I know I have learnt & gained a lot here. I am always grateful. But I believe I have also contributed, not only taking. I never asked for help in the previous years. At the end, when I am unwell and need some help, people just see me as a lazy/greedy person (no one really used these wordings.but they made me feel like that). I'm not sure if I still have the courage to ask for help. Recently I have avoided to talk to my family & friends. I literally don't know what to say to them.

I'm sorry to be so negative. I still like this country and feel thankful for the services provided by Beyond Blue. I know the majority of people are kind. But there is just no possible way to support me. If my message made anyone upset, I am really sorry.

[Petal22]

Hi Corn L,

Im sorry you are feeling this way.

I understand anxiety can be really hard to deal with.

Have you thought about talking to your gp about your anxiety and how it’s affecting your life?

Anxiety can work up avoidances, please try not to listen to your anxiety….. one thing I learned with anxiety was the more we do what it’s telling us to do the more we reinforce it.

I know it’s hard but your so much stronger than your anxiety.