Social anxiety, day to day life, and issues with food

[Ashii]

I’ve had long term issues with social anxiety. I think it stems from a lack of control, particularly from childhood trauma. I have symptoms of PTSD and have emotional flashbacks occasionally.

My anxiety issues have improved over the last 7 years, mainly due to my work. The last two years that I spent living with family made me think it was completely gone, but it turns out that because I was mostly living with people who I have long and established relationships with, I don’t experience anxiety with them. 

I’ve always felt dread when I’ve had to interact with people I don’t have a comfortable or long relationship with and I thought this was normal. But I’ve had to move away from family this year for my mental health and I’ve noticed how bad my anxiety actually is.

I can’t leave my room if my housemate is home. I can’t do it even if I need the bathroom or to make food, especially if their door is open or they’re in the common areas. I would rather starve and experience discomfort than leave the room and interact with them. It has nothing to do with them personally, but I just can’t.

At this point, I wonder if it’s creating some kind of temporary eating issues. I can’t eat or even cook in front of them or even if they’re in the house. The one time I did cook was when they walked in from work. It made me so distressed I gave up. Sometimes I’ll feel panicked when I hear them coming into the house and rush to hide items of food. I know rationally I shouldn’t, but I don’t feel safe and I feel like I’m doing something wrong.

I’m currently seeing a psychologist, so I’m getting help. But I’d love to know if anyone has any advice around managing this or if I need to pay attention to my issues with food.

[blues23]

Hi Ashii,

sorry your going thru this. It does sound truly awful that you feel so uncomfortable eating and even holding off going to the toilet it must be taking such a toll on your health. My advice would definitely be to seek some more help on the eating side and the toileting side . I personally haven’t experienced what you are going thru . I did have periods at my job where I would withhold going to the toilet due to no staff on the floor ( smoking breaks🙄) and when I went back for  a little while to work I found myself questioning whether I could go to the toilet this was a question in my mind if I could or if I’d be in trouble if I did go to the toilet it was so like shocking to me I was not aware that I was actually afraid of going to the toilet at work I got thru it as I convinced myself I’m going to go to the toilet even if I was nervous about going I went and I did it and it was ok . Can you try and like u know get out of your comfort zones of your room and cook yourself some food even if it’s quick then go and eat ? Sometimes we have to battle these thoughts to make them go away and to be like yes I can do this and I won’t be in trouble if I do . Definitely speak with your psychologist about it and what your going thru , I hope you can find some peace and definitely eat even store some snacks in your room like fruits : biscuits: pkts of food u know that u can eat should u feel very anxious but try to tackle it head on that’s what I’m doing with my anxiety I have to retrain my brain and thoughts it’s possible but it takes time . 

take care 🦋