So worried

[Angie66]

hi lm new and lm trying to find myself again..But 9 mths l lost my beautiful daughter to Lung cancer ..It was aggressive and she only had 6 mths to live..She was 29 and very healthy never smoked..Doctors were shocked also..lve my father,sister and now my daughter..l helped my mother with my father and sister illness and l havnt been able to grieve them..Now my daughter has passed my mother has beeb very aggressive and hasnt been around for me..Im have a beautiful supportive hubby and 2 other children who have completly disowned my mother from the control she has over me..Im seeking help but now my doctor as me on a low dosage bp medicate as my blood pressure rises when lm overwhelmed.. l need to find me as 5 years of hospitals has taken its toll on me..Im frighten someone else is going to be ill and pass..Just dont know what to do??

[anxietyalien]

I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. I somehow feel like I "feel" what you're feeling, in a similar way. The past 6 years has been so difficult for me, with things all to do with health - my health, and the health of my loved ones. The consistent neverending rally of things that have happened over the last 6 years has worn me down and made me so fearful and scared. Just reading your story is a nightmare come true, and something that can come true for many. One thing that worries me is that I have to do all the heavy lifting in my family - for example, we live in an old house, and i've been working in the ceiling space lately. It's full of 100+ year old dust and dirt - and I know asbestos was in this house at some point, before my Um & Dad removed it before I was born. But I work up there a lot, and always come down, blow my nose and see black dirt and stuff. I worry about my lungs. I fear getting what your poor daughter had. What a horrible surprise. I'm 26, turning 27 soon, and live in fear 24/7. Death is scary, and we all have to face it. Isn't it crazy... For me, the exhaustion and wear-down from the years of stress have actually made me VERY depressed. A roller coaster that has its ways of going up and down, in a self driven momentum.

You're not alone, and please do what I do, and just read through the thousands of posts to be found here. Some consolation can be found through the digging of this forum - and please do also write here to get it all out. Don't keep it all in.

[Angie66]

Thankyou xx

[Summer Rose]

Hi Angie66

I am so sorry for the losses you have suffered. It really is unimaginable to nurse and then lose your daughter, father and sister. Yet here you are. My heart goes out to you.

The way through this is one day at a time. Deep breaths. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself the space, time and stillness to grieve.

You have been through so much that I think it could really help to have a chat with your GP. It's possible that a referral to a mental health professional (e.g. a grief counsellor) could be useful, particularly as you need to rediscover yourself and a life without fear of further illness/tragedy. At the very least, some sleep and calming strategies may help.

I am sending you a hug and and buckets of care.