Sick of feeling this way

[Lars]

After 25 years of dealing with depression and anxiety , I'm at the point where I'm worn out. I feel passable for a while but the worry is always  there and it creeps up like the insidious beast it is; next comes the inevitable breakdown followed by treatment and then  the cycle  begins  again. I'm not a danger to myself or anyone else but am just tired and resigned. Does anyone have any advice on how to be more positive? I just need a few tips or ideas, things that can break me out of this funk so I can be the father and husband my family deserve.

[Jf82]

Hey mate,  I too suffer from anexiety and I know the toll it can take on you and most importantly your family.  Depression and anxiety wore me down so much I just finished a two week stay in hospital to rearrange my meads and do a corse of ECT.  What I learned about my anxiety was that we need to try and look at things in a different way.  Look at what's important and find things to take our minds off those anxious thoughts. I used to lay in bed hoping to sleep away my anxiety, now I'm up early I eat right and I exercise and it seems to be helping. Today for example I had one of those days, I got out of bed had breakfeast with my wife and kids then I took my daughter shopping, saying that I only spent $20 it was going to the shops and the moving scenery that helps. Then I came home cleaned my garage and washed the cars.  Keeping busy always works.  Also for those days when your at work where you can't do as you please I find things to look forward to like going home and going for a ride or taking my girls to the park.  That thought of doing something pleasureable takes my mind off those thoughts. But looking after yourself physically is first and for most.  Stay away from greasy food coffee or drinks with copious amounts of caffeine drink water throughout the day and exercise I promise you'll feel better and you will be able to control your anxiety.  I hope this helps.

Cheers

[white knight]

Hi Lars,

Been in many lows in my time and I'm very convinced that on each occasion I was too idle. Idleness causes boredom and boredom leads to thinking about things we wouldn't think about....often the past or current problems.

I've also noticed among a couple of friends that experience depression that when you ask them what hobby they have they usually say they don't have one. A passion is often missing.

I have an ex girlfriend and we had issues. We went to counselling. My passion at the time was model airplanes. My girlfriend didn't like me spending so much time gluing and building. And she brought this up at a meeting. The counsellor asked her "and what's your passion"?....."Ummm, I don't have one" she replied.

Following my first marriage breakdown in 1996 (2 kids involved) I bought a block of land and ordered a kit house and began building. Working 12 hours shift work and building a home meant I had little time nor energy to think about the trauma of leaving the family home or my kids sadness that I had no control over.

I'm just offering a suggestion but it might not work for you. We are all different in these ways.

Another idea is to attend motivation lectures. I did in around 1983 and that lecture of 30 minutes duration changed my life forever in terms of always having hope in your darkest hours. Once a positive thinker always a positive thinker I say...and I came from a family of negative thinkers, essentially with a mental illness component we never knew of...way back then.

My motivation lecture was by an insurance salesman. He'd had a heart attack through worry of not selling. His wife attended the hospital to ask him what he was going to do upon his release. "I'm going to be a millionaire selling insurance". She laughed and it was the way she laughed that set him on his course of determination.

About a year later he secured a superannuation contract with a large company that gave him one million dollars commission. That night he was at home and she walked in. She asked how his day went and he replied "I sold a policy and its worth one million dollars to us....and don't you ever laugh at me like that again".

By the end of his lecture to us he was banging his fist on the table. With tingles up my spine I knew then that I had a lot more vigour inside me.

Also google "Prem Rawat sunset youtube"  and Prem Rawat the perfect instrument" and other vids of his. I've been listening to him for 28 years.

Tony WK

[Lars]

Thank you to both of you for your advice and interest. I think that deep down I knew what I should be doing but sometimes you just need affirmation from others or another person to tell you. You'd think a bloke my age should know but we all know what depression and anxiety do to you. I'm only doing 2 days a week work at the moment and have been for the last 10 weeks after a Chernobyl level meltdown at work and each of those 2 days is an act of will and putting on the mask. Unfortunately I've spent most of my spare time sitting on the couch cuddling the dog, feeling sorry for myself. However, I've made some plans and hope to follow through.

Thanks again - it means a lot.

[Coggles]

As males it seems to be societies view that we don't get mental problems. Whether it is the girls telling us we don't use our minds enough or just how the ages have gone. I think it is more the whole media and information we try to absorb. Our minds keep getting drawn to the horrible things that happen around the world and it is all to readily available to us through the Internet. It just drains us with emotion over time.

Doom and gloom seems to fit the bill. I think that we are exposed to it so much that eventually it tends to effect us. Not sure why males cant have issues too. I know I was told to get over myself. If it were that easy I would. My sister had issues and it was oh poor her etc. makes you feel a bit worse at the time.

i am doing more each day so that I can eventually rid all the anxiety out with closure (apparently it is better to have closure of it all before hand so that it takes a long time to build up again.) 

one step at a time and if you need help don't be afraid to ask someone.

hope it all goes well.