Seperation Anxiety?

[moomoo]

I am new to this and like to say that my anxiety is a lot more under control then it ever has been but when you read my story you will see where my issue is and how I don't know how to deal with it.

I first got anxiety one month before getting married in 2010, I put this down to stress but straight away went on medication as a quick fix. I used to feel panicked when I didn't know where my husband was and couldn't get in contact, if we went on holidays I would panic about being away from my mum and would only feel better after I spoke to her. Three years later I went off the medication and unfortunately at the same time my marriage crumbled. I went straight into seeing another person, which wasn't the smartest idea but it happened.

Throughout my entire marriage breakdown I didn't go back on medication and I got through the panic attacks. My issue now is that I get full blown anxiety when the guy I am seeing has broken it off with me (its been on and off for a year now), I guess I have a huge fear of being alone, I was with my ex for 10 years and then went to this guy. I know we are not meant to be together and I sometimes feel I need to end it because its stopping me from really finding someone new but I have no idea how to do this!

On the occasions we have broken up I literally feel as though I am going to die and I don't know how to go on living, everything suddenly seems depressing and I feel so stupid but I cant stop it!!! I really hope there is someone out there that knows exactly what I am saying.

I was seeing a psychologist but I don't feel I was getting anything out of it.

I cant keep living my life like this, I need to be happy and as much as I know that's up to me I am afraid to take the step! Sometimes I feel its pushing me to the edge and dying would actually be easier then trying to get through all of this.

Please give any advice and share stories of similar circumstances.

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[sos54]

Hi Moomoo

I am so happy you took the step of coming here for support. I hope you are getting some more help but want to say - you are very important. You are a unique person and I feel you are right in thinking you are scared of being alone. I remember being full of confidence and thinking I was fantastic at anything I did when I was young and it is easy to lose that feeling. My advice would be try and find something you love to do. If you have other friends or family maybe you could try doing more things with them and getting support.

You say when you break up you feel depressed and stupid but that is normal. There will always be an adjustment when life changes and there is nothing stupid about depression and anxiety they are natural responses but just in us they are too strong.

You may also feel scared that if you break up you will be alone and won't find someone but there is always someone else. happiness needs to come from within so if you can persevere and get help you can grow to be strong enough that you won't need someone else - and thats probably when you will find them.

Perhaps it is time to revisit if the medication helped ? If your psychologist was not working for you try a different course of action - through the support here or another Dr. Do some things you love and think first about yourself.

I really hope to hear you have got help and would love to see your life improve so take care.