Seeking some reassurance this morning

[Faithh]

Good morning.

A small intro - I have been dealing with anxiety which has become mild depression over the past few months.
Seeing my therapist on a weekly basis.

Although my partner is very supportive, last night i reached out to him and he was helpful in making me feel at ease when i was feeling anxious and had some feelings of depersonalisation (which scares me so much). He had been through some deep depression in his past so i texted and asked if he could tell me more of his personal situation to help shed some light on my situation last night in a time of need. It was late, and he had been tired from a job as well as having a cold, and so he didn't want to get into it. I was disappointed and felt unsupported (even though he does give me his support every day and reassurance). I ended up reading about other peoples stories of anxiety, depression and depersonalisation until about 1am... probably a big mistake! And so I woke through the night feeling anxious a bit shaky and just disconnected from the world.

I guess I'm asking for any reassurance and positive stories from anyone who has ever felt this way. I feel scared and although the logical part of me knows Im ok, the other part is "What is wrong with me, why am i feeling like this" Trying and doing my best to "think straight"

Thanks guys x

Faithh

[Faithh]

.. This has been a big struggle for me.... good moments and bad moments. I just want to be happy consistently again and leave these feelings of dissociation/what is life kind of feelings behind me.

Please any positive experiences from anyone who has also experienced this Id love to hear from you x

[Doolhof]

Hi Faithh,

Welcome to the forum. It would be wonderful if we could all feel contented and happy every day. Unfortunately that is not reality. We all have moments where we don't like the way we are feeling. For me, the thing is to accept that I can not be happy all of the time, it is just not natural for anyone.

You mentioned your boyfriend was unable to help you at the time when you needed him to be there for you. Have you tried using phone help lines like the one here at Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636.

Another thing you could do is to look on the internet, or borrow a book from the library or buy one on positive thoughts, inspirational books that will give you encouragement and ways of moving forward when you are down.

The last couple of weeks for me have been very tough. This week I have the opportunity to turn things around, to seek the help I need, read material that is helping me cope with my thoughts and I am making an effort to do more things that I enjoy each day so the positive feelings keep increasing.

You can discover what things will help you to feel better each day.

From Dools

[Faithh]

Hi Dools,

Thanks for your lovely message.

I'm sorry to hear that the last 2 weeks have been very tough on you. My last 2 weeks have especially been harder on me too. Do you mind me asking what has prompted the opportunity to turn things around for you especially this week? Also interested to hear about what you are reading to help you?

Im finding it hard at times to see the positive through the overthinking. Im getting glimpses of it through the day (especially when im at the gym for example) but just finding it hard to hold onto positive perspective. Sometimes I feel totally alone like as though Im the only person feeling like this and I will never change - although I hold the hope that i feel my old self again.

Thanks Dools x

[Doolhof]

Hi Faithh,

It has been a while since I have spent some time on the forum! Seems like I am on a bit of a roller coaster ride. My Dr. is trying me on some new anti depressant medications. One is keeping me awake at night, then I have another to help me sleep. Only problem is the one that helps me to sleep turns me into a zombie for the whole of the next day!

It seems I have a choice, sleep or don't sleep and put up with the consequences the next day! ARH! It can be so frustrating.

Okay, books. A friend sent me a book called "Living with IT A Survivor's guide to panic attacks" by Bev Aisbett. I don't have panic attacks very often, but I can relate the book to my depression in many ways. So that has been beneficial.

My last anti depressant seemed to shut down my thinking so I struggled to even carry a conversation at times. It was like there was a time delay. Someone would ask me a question and ten seconds later I had an answer for them. Ha. Ha.

There is a lot of information on the internet about how to deal with unwanted thoughts.

One idea I recently came across was to set a time to write down your thoughts and your worries. Then tell yourself you are not going to entertain your worries and thoughts at other times, only during your writing time. Easier said than done, but that might help.

You may also like to write down three things you are thankful for every day. That helps me to realise there are more good things out there than I generally recognise.

Hope you are doing okay. Cheers for now from Dools