Scared it isn't just anxiety...

[mld1994]

Hi, this is my first post here and its a long one so please stick with me (sorry!). Basically, I'm super scared that my symptoms aren't anxiety related?...Back story : Recently moved interstate, went without my partner for 2.5 months, started a new job which I hate, and had no proper social connections. Had my car broken into and personal belongings stolen...I suddenly could not eat for 3 days, I felt sick to my stomach when I woke each morning (butterflies in tummy type sensation) and I just had that weird nervous sweating feeling that made going to work extremely difficult. Fast forward 4 months in. I start noticing foreign symptoms; I've lost A LOT of weight. I've got subtle neck ache/pain. I start feeling extremely lethargic and weak, I would feel shaky, as If my legs would cave in. Que first Doc appointment. Low iron he thought. On iron supplements for 2 months. Symptoms got slightly better (if I believed so). Completely off the iron supplement now. Next lot of symptoms come into play; still feeling weak and tired, weird strange head pains/cramps/stabbing on left side that would only last 2-3 seconds but are SO debilitating when they happen, weak stomach (nausea, butterfly feeling), dizzy/trippy feeling like somethings "kicked in", sudden rise in body temp and my heart would beat deep and fast (these symptoms happen at different times btw). I then start GOOGLING; Brain Tumor, Aneursyms, Meningitis...I've convinced myself I have a terrible neurological disorder. I try to remain calm and rational each day, but the symptoms take over and I think "NOPE! There IS something not right!!". Eventually the next big thing happened. Que, what I would now learn was most likely my first ever panic attack, but at the time I thought I had a catastrophic brain "thing" (I won't go into the symptoms, its hard to describe). I ended up in ED. CT & MRI Scan, basic Blood Work and a basic Neurological test (reflexes, pulling things, eye pupils ect) and guess what? I'm (supposedly) completely healthy. The ED doctor said basically now that we have ticked off the serious and deadly conditions, lets look at anxiety and depression....So, here we are now. I am still so scared that this is NOT anxiety. And knowing that all of my tests have came back clear, only makes me look deeper into other diseases. There is SO much more to say and I start therapy soon...but Can anxiety/depression REALLY do this to the body? HELP. I am 22 year old female and I feel like I am dying. Why me?!

[Croix]

Dear Mld1994
I feel for you, it must have taken a lot of courage/desperation to post here - which is in fact a pretty good step. We are here to help. We are not medical professionals however many have gone down this path and are happy to share their experiences with you

The symptoms you set out can indeed all be caused by anxiety - hard to believe but I should know as I’ve had them. I’ve suffered from anxiety related disorders for a very very long time. I first went to the doctor with physical symptoms, and like you had batteries of tests – all negative. Eventually they were diagnosed as anxiety related and things went from there. You are fortunate in that treatment has progressed a whole lot since my day

I found that when I was suffering from the more severe symptoms my thinking got distorted and my decision making was very poor as a result. The actual worry over what was happening to me was a big factor in increasing my anxiety – in other words it fed on itself. In your situation I’d try to accept your doctors’ opinions as you seem to have had comprehensive tests. See if, with time, treatments for anxiety and depression help -I'd be pretty sure they will

There is a wealth of information on the beyondblue page under the drop down menu The Facts. This will give you a great deal on causes and treatments of depression and anxiety

I made an enormous mistake in that I let things go on and on for years, just treating the physical symptoms. This made things a lot worse and a lot harder to treat. I’m very pleased you are not making my mistake, but are looking at treatment now

You really need the guided medical help - perhaps for medication - and definitely for therapy. This helps you deal with the things that trigger anxiety and thus the symptoms

Living away from your partner, doing a job that’s not right, the hassle of the car, isolation, all these things are part of a life that is promoting anxiety. There are probably many other factors too

Do you still have a partner or are you separated? Family, if available, has a big role to play .

A couple of things. If matters get bad you can ring our help line and talk to our understanding and friendly health professionals - it's not a hassle. You can also do text based chat if you prefer

Secondly anxiety is treatable and you can expect to lead a normal life in the future

Please post as often as you feel like it, there will always be a warm welcome

My best wishes
Croix

[m_bel]

Hi mld1994

I really feel for you. You basically described exactly what I went through and what I am trying to deal with still. I really sympathise with the fact that it's just so hard to feel "normal" and when I have bad days I look around and wonder if anyone else feels this way. The hardest thing to deal with is the dizziness and shakiness because it makes it so hard just to simply walk. The subtle neck pain is also horrible because it's a constant reminder.

My advice would be to persist and celebrate little successes. On bad days do what you can and take note of when you manage to do things despite anxiety. These will act as little reminders to yourself that you are ok in that moment and as your body realises that over and over again, symptoms will hopefully fade sooner rather than later. seeing a psychologist has really been helpful to me too.

Know you're not alone and that good days will come!

[geoff]

hello Mld, thanks for posting your comment which must have been quite difficult to do, but now you have, so that's great.
From what you have told us is that your anxiety is rampant, but with anxiety comes something else and that's depression, for me they are always combined, other people may disagree, that's fine, but when one appears the other is always there, and it doesn't matter which one appears first, the other is close behind.
All of us read certain conditions on the net and suddenly assume that that's exactly what we may have, and the more you investigate the worse your condition becomes, and I'm not saying that this is not good because I do the same.
I'm the same as Croix and M_bel, so I've had both of these illness's for a long time and unfortunately what they do is control our lives to make us feel miserable, and although I'm not qualified to answer your question, however it's fair to say that after having it for so long that we can say that you do anxiety/depression.
It would be a good idea to go and see your doctor and ask them about the mental health plan, which entitles you to 10 free sessions with a psychologist. Geoff.

[mld1994]

Hi m_bel, thank you for your comment, it really stood out to me! The part about looking around wondering if anyone else feels this way is probably one of the hardest ones for me. I constantly look at friends/colleagues and wonder if they've ever felt the sensations I'm feeling, and if they are, how do the act so normal?! Weird symptoms keep popping up, but since my original post I am very slowly learning to accept the anxiety...I just need to get rid of this small thing in the back of my mind "but what if it isn't anxiety, what if something is really wrong" because right now, for me, that is the biggest daily battle, not so much the symptoms, but thinking about them...

[saltwater7]

Hi mid1994, i could have written your first post almost word for word, the only addition I could add is throid tests, stress tests, and having to be hit with the paddles once for A-Fib. For me it's panic attack / anxiety, I get them when I'm at rest, when I'm in a situation where I should be melting down from panic I'm fine, I only get them when my mind is idle for want of a better word.

It gets easier, if it was heart attack one would be dead in 5, a few hours is too much of a stretch 😀