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Scared again and dont know where im headed.

Beaser
Community Member

Hi and best wishes to everyone..

Im starting to get very scared again and having panic like attacks.   I just feel so alone at times and this might sound strange but i feel like a kid who just wants to give his mum a hug.  But im 58 i lost my mum at 18 and Dad in 2000 and have  no real family support.   Im currently not working and dont feel i have the energy to start again.  I just do some volunteer work one day a week at a hospital.  Ive never really progressed in life i just seem to have filled in time .   I feel like i have had enough a times.     Best wishes  Brett

18 Replies 18

Beaser
Community Member

Hi and best wishes.  Just so tough going at the moment. Got a bad result from my blood tests yesterday. Financially struggling and trying to work through a TPD application .  Every thing just seems to be going to crap at the moment.  Really feel like i need to just back off from everything today . Just feel overloaded.     Best wishes Brett 

Justsad
Community Member

Hi Beaser,

just wanted to say I feel for you and send you a virtual hug.

I am feeling the same, its a very scary, sad, lonely place to be. I talk to nobody most wknds and stay in bed crying and distract myself with tv etc. 

Just wanted to say hello to you and send some care.

Beaser
Community Member

Thank you Justsad.

And straight back at you with that virtual hug. Also sending my heartfelt best wishes. 

Im sorry to read of whats going on for you .  It is such a tough battle on your own at times. 

Just know that people like me care and understand what its like for people like your good self.

Always here and happy to chat especially if it helps    . Bett.

Chris o
Community Member

Hey, hope you are both doing better.

Justsad
Community Member

Thanks so much, stay strong 🙂

Beaser
Community Member

Hey Justsad.

Been wondering how you are doing.  Hope your going ok.  Sending my best wishes.           Brett

 

 

 

Fiatlux
Community Member

Hi Brett,

 

Just came across your post and hope you are coping as well as you can.

 

I am 56 and still working but just plodding along out of sheer necessity. I work from home and for my own business so I do what I need to. I couldn’t get out of bed and drive to the office 5 days a week like I used to. 

Nobody tells you that it gets hard and often harder. Both my parents were retired by 50 so I had no one to talk about working later in life. It’s just expected of us.

 

Loosing parents is always hard but it must have been especially difficult for you. 

When I lost my dad I was 43 but I realised then that I didn’t have him to call if I needed help with something. He was a very important part of my life. My mother is still alive but I cut contact with her following my dad’s passing. She’s a narcissistic drama queen and she sucks the life out of me. But she still has my brother and sister to look out for her. She and I have never been close.

 

My only family are my children and I keep going for them in the hope that this mid life exhaustion will pass and I can retire to be a grandma one day. Something to look forward to.

 

I never had a work life balance and I have worked myself to a point of exhaustion already. It would be great if you could just retire when you clocked up and days and hours rather than by age..

 

Best wishes, Fiatlux 🙏🏼

Beaser
Community Member

Thank you Fiatlux.

Yes its a tough battle at times  My father had retired before i left school, same with my mother. They both deserved too but from a selfish point of view i think it made it harder stepping out of school and into my own worklife. Losing my mum at 18 was a hard thing and my Dad did a great job after that.  I know ive had it better than so many others also. 

Im sorry to read of you losing your Dad he sounds very special to you. Even more difficult with a tough relationship with your mum.  

I have to have an ultra sound today as my blood tests showed a problem with my liver.  Im not totally convinced i have a problem but . Im finding this a trigger for me . I guess i have drank since i was 18 so maybe its all caught up.  Sorry but just needed to vent about that its hard with no one to talk things like that over.  

You are right about retirement i find it a bit unfair that some could access super at 55 but im 60 just because of my birthdate.     I really hope you have a good day . Always happy to chat.     Brett

Beaser
Community Member

Hi Fiatlux.

Hoping you are going ok.. Just checking in and saying hi.......Brett