Sabotage my relationships by creating/overreacting to situations

[Finding_sunshine]

Hi - I hope someone is out there who may understand the below. I’ve never shared this with anyone, but have to now.

I have an ongoing habit of destroying romantic relationships - I was engaged and purposely destroyed it by being down and focusing on stupid things to get angry about, and only focusing on the bad.
I am currently following the same pattern with a guy I am dating. I get into wild headspaces and only focus on the bad and how bad the relationship is, and push him away and try and end it.
it’s like part of me likes the pain and grief, or thinks I don’t deserve to be loved. I want a life so much different from the one I keep creating for myself.

[Petal22]

Hi Finding sunshine,

Wellcome to our forums!

How we think can create our reality…. focus on the bad and we will only see the bad.

Decide to focus on the good and we then see the good in our lives.

Perception is a powerful thing, you hold the key ……. Choose to focus on the good and watch everything transform. ….. you have that power…..

You can re create the life you have now into the life you want but it’s in your hands ….. change focus and watch everything around you change from the inside out 😊

[CMF]

Oh wow,

I do the same thing. I have lots to be grateful for but i dwell on 1 or 2 things that annoy me & now it's a big issue. I have very valid reasons & my partner knows & agrees but he says i just like being angry.

cmf

[geoff]

Hello Finding_sunshine, sometimes some people have this urge to become romantically involved in a relationship to please their friends/family as they too are involved with someone themselves but the excitement of your recent involvement suddenly falls apart once you know of what may happen in the future.

The person who you are with isn't the type of person you ideally like, you are only doing it to please your family/friends and not for yourself.

Once you are able to find someone you really love then this won't happen, sure there will be topics that you don't agree with, but then all you want to do is make up to them.

Take your time until you find the person you want and not what others want you to have.

Best wishes.

Geoff.