Return to work after being bullied

[Baz]

Good morning, I’m a 59 year old male in the FIFO mining industry, last swing I was ridiculed and bullied for asking for a simple safety item. I’ve had a week off on planned holidays but am about to return to work this morning. I’m starting to feel anxious and hesitant about going, I feel that I need to return to work but the closer it gets the more anxious I’m feeling? 

[therising]

Hi Baz

Apologies for the late reply, now that you're already back at work. I'm hoping things went more smoothly than what you imagined.

My goodness, some people are just horrible creatures at times. The way they can make life hell for others can seriously leave me scratching my head. My 19yo son had a really tough time of it at school for quite a number of years before we hit on a revelation that led to a change in perspective and a greater sense of confidence (when it came and still comes to managing certain people)...

While we can go through great torment being labeled as 'sensitive' or something along those lines, imagine for a sec that being sensitive actually gives us one up on people. While simply imagining it involves the ability to sense, all of a sudden you can now confidently sense who's an a*****le and who's not, who's depressing and who's not, who's anxiety inducing and who's not etc etc. You can also sense the compassionate people, the open minded people, the more emotionally mature people (who don't behave like 10 year olds showing off in front of their mates). You can sense who's mentally disturbing based on them mentally disturbing you and who's mentally liberating based on how they lead you to feel. Personally, what I'm inclined to sense, when someone requests safety equipment, is a highly intelligent person who's all about self preservation. As an OH&S officer at my workplace, I cheer you on 🎉. Working in the aged care industry, we've had health and safety drummed into us something shocking over the years.

If I was to ask you to get a better sense of the people at work who have never fully grown up, get a better sense of the blokey blokes who lead gals like myself to roll their eyes and get a better sense of who out of everyone at work is the least offensive (besides yourself), I imagine you'd be able to do it. Btw, an insensitive person of a degrading and abusive nature often can't sense their own nature or they flat out refuse to. They'll insist there's nothing wrong with them and it's all about you. I find they tend to do this because they're delusional 😊.

I've heard it said before that a lack of fear does not define a person as being courageous. Moving through the fear does. Again, I hope things went far better than expected.

[indigo22]

Hi Baz,

Welcome and thank you for reaching out to us.

Some people are just jerks and it makes them feel bolder when they are in a group. I would hazard a guess they would not be so bold when they are on their own. It is hard to be around those sort of people and they specifically look for the chink in your armour to use to their advantage. The only real way to deal with them is to turn the tables on them and put the ball back in their court.

For example with the safety item you asked for, when they started their routine (and it is routine, they have probably done it with many others before you), having a comment like

"Really? So none of you care about safety at work? I have never worked with people like that before. I always intend to end my shift in the same health that I started it with. Each to his own I guess."

If you can come up with a few throw back lines to put them in their place, they will be less likely to keep up their routine with you. They are not worth your anxiety, they are no better than children on a playground, so treat them as such.

Would be interested to know how you got on today if you wish to share.

Take good care of yourself,

indigo