relationships and bipolar, obsession

[Oz]

Hi, I was being treated for many years for depression however was diagnosed with bipolar after a suicide attempt. Over the last 2 or so years Ive be obsessive about my relationship with a couple with whom Im friends with. I get upset if I dont get spoken to or not invited to things. Has anyone else had this kind of situation with bipolar? The situation is out of control, I cant seem to control myself, stalking their FB, going out of my way to come into contact with them.

Any advice welcome

[geoff]

dear Oz, firstly thanks for posting on here, so welcome aboard.

I am sorry for your diagnosed condition, but I also wonder whether this illness extends to also having OCD, because when someone mentions the word 'obsessive or obsession' indicate to me that they may also have this illness.

Maybe you can get back to us and tell us if you have been diagnosed with OCD. Geoff.

[Oz]

Hi Geoff

I havn't been diagnosed with OCD.  I constantly feel like Im missing out.  Like things are organized and Im not invited.  Although this isnt always true, it does seem to happen. Over the years Ive moved mountains for people but I dont seem to get anything in return.

The whole things leaves me sad.

[white knight]

Most interesting Oz.  Geoff might be asking a good question.  Some people suffering one illness can have a little of another and another.  I'm certain I had some ADHD when much younger but unlikely I have any now.

I cant help with your question directly however I'm wondering if this has something to do with fixations on people, what they do, what they say and how they react/dont react.

I have this fixation trait.  Friends that upset me or visa versa for example.  Time seems the only healer because an apology from either side doesnt make issues vanish, it only closes the door a little quicker.  Until then my mind is on them day and night, losing sleep, talking about it to my wife endlessly.  Medication has eased these symptoms.

There are ramifications for being so close to a couple and risks.  Rejection could shatter your world.  Take care.

My post is to tell you that you are not alone. I have bipolar 2, dysthymia, anxiety and depression.

[geoff]

dear Oz, I just wonder whether you have watched the video on OCD when you logon, plus would it be possible to search on the net and google OCD, as White Knight has all these awful illness's, as they just seem to attach onto whatever we are suffering from, so anyone can become the predominant one. Geoff.

[Oz]

Thanks Geoff and white night

Fixation is an apt word for how I act.  And insane jealously.  Not of their life, but of their friendships they share. Two lovely couples who get along so well, Im thinking their is no more room for anyone else so Ill stay on the outer, liked, not loved perhaps.

I wish I was alone with this illness as I wouldnt wish it on anybody

[white knight]

Dear Oz,  Social media can mirror similar symptoms in that it can easily become an addiction.  Obsession/addiction....similar lines I think.  I want to mention mind control.  Because dwelling on issues with people as I do some say "just dont think about it"  well I just cant do that.  My only remedy is to divert my mind onto other pleasing things like hobbies, sports etc.  To force yourself away from your friends presence isnt easy but it is a necessity and must be done. You have to break away.

If you can accomplish this even a little bit at a time, you will likely enhance your friendship with this couple because they will enjoy the extra time alone with themselves and be happier to see you because you will have developments in your life since you saw them the last time.

Grab a calendar, mark on it a reasonable period of time between visits and stick by it.  Spread your time between other friend or activities and try to get your obsession into a more normal perspective.

It's a challenge.  Without challenges we are at the mercy of our uncontrolled minds.  Best to be in control.   hugs

[Oz]

Thanks white knight. That does make sense!

Things feel worse at the moment due to the fact Im not working. I was self employed but sold my biz to have a break. 3 months later Im starting to get bored.  Time to start work again methinks.

[HighwayToHell]

Please be careful, Oz.  Relationship obsession, addiction, fixation whatever you want to call it, is dangerous, regardless of which diagnosis causes it. 

Maybe you should go and see someone before things get out of hand before to act in a way that has irreversible consequences??  It is a fine line between finding excuses to run into certain peole, and stalking.  It is so easy to fall into.

We Bipolars are terminally bored and perpetually dissatisfied.  We take everything very personally, tend to act out in all sorts of, er, inappropriate ways and we also have very powerful personalities - a power which is not always channeled in the appropriate direction.  

Best of Luck

[Oz]

Thanks HTH, Im being very careful.

Trying to stay away, which Im doing well so far.