Rejected by people in class, don't know how to cope

[45987]

I don't have a formal diagnosis but every counsellor I've spoken to recently have suggested social anxiety and I'm waiting on a return call after a Headspace consultation about 3 weeks ago(My mum said they're probably not going to get back to me because they won't think I have important enough issues, can anyone with experience with Headspace confirm this?).

So I'm doing an intensive 2 week subject at university (I need to do this subject to graduate on time), and today was the first day. It's a very social/discussion based class which I thought would be a good way to push out of my comfort zone and improve since it's hard to get a counsellor help (The university counselor I first saw referred me to Headspace as it was long term stuff). Before the tutorial these two people seated near me were talking about why they were doing this particular subject, so I tried to join the conversation and literally got rejected (I repeated what I thought was said and then asked what they were talking about and basically got shut down and then ignored, then when the tutor got everyone to introduce themself and say why they were doing the subject they literally said exactly what I asked about). Then we were split into groups based on seating arrangements and I feel I tried to contribute but was shut out of the conversation. Then the tutor walked past and asked me the group conclusion which I didn't know and is now going to give me a bad participation mark. Also, all the teaching staff and past reviews mention you makes friends there so I feel there's extra pressure that I know I'm already going to fail at.

I absolutely cannot drop this subject as I'm trying to get into different course and just need to finish this (also dropped a subject in the past due to social fears due to a certain person doing it, and I really regretted it later). But now I just feel terrible and unmotivated... I don't know how I'm going to go back into that class after already being rejected and seen as someone who doesn't participate by the tutor. Any suggestions? Would moving seats help? I feel like I can never start/try to join a conversation again. I have no idea what I did wrong.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi 45987,

Thank you for your post and for sharing what's been happening - sorry you've been having lots of anxiety at uni.

To answer your question about Headspace, they absolutely will get back to you! Depending on which centre there is there could be a waiting list, and if there is a waiting list it will often get ranked depending on priority, and then date of referral. So if you're unsure I'd give them a ring and check when you'll be able to see someone. They also see people with all sorts of issues; none too big or too small!

I'm really sorry that you got rejected there although I'm not sure why, and I really doubt that you did anything wrong! Is it a very social type class? Are there lots of situations like that necessary for your grade?

One of the things I'd imagine they might do at Headspace is talk about situations like these, and maybe brainstorm how you can cope better with them. While it might happen again (hopefully not!), there's a good chance it won't and also a very very good chance it had nothing to do with you.

Hope this helps,