Reality of anxiety and social health

[Red-Rex]

Hi All, I would like to discuss the best options to deal with panic in situations that revolve around conflict. I don't want to get into the details but it is having a huge impact on my social health and relationships. I had previously worked with a councillor to work on trauma and family issues but I did not get to the point where I could deconstruct subconious beliefs which is causing these panic mindsets. How did you achieve freedom from panic? Are there other forms of therapy which could help me? Who should I read or watch for additional guidance while looking for the therapy I need?

[Richju]

Dear Red-Rex,

I am sorry to hear that your anxiety is so extreme. Conflict is never easy to manage and it is especially difficult for those of us who are anxious as the anxiety means that we often forget what we need to say or we become too emotional or competetive.

I have found written communication reduces my own and possibly the other person's stress levels.

Although some think that writing is the coward's way out, I believe that it helps me to more carefully consider what I need to say and to say it as gently as possible.

I daresay you already know about 'I' statements to indicate how you feel but I find it is also important to consider and express one's need in a situation. For example 'I need to feel respected...'

Also, attempting to empathise with the other person can help. Saying for example 'I fully understand that this situation is also difficult for you because of .....' can help your adversary to understand that you also care about his/her feelings.

I did a course in non-violent communication, which I found very helpful. Meditation has also helped to reduce my stress.

I hope some if this is helpful to you and that you will continue to post so we know how you're going.

Warm regards,

Richju xxxxx