Hello Shane46,
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us. It takes a lot of courage to be this honest and vulnerable, so we know our community will get a lot from reading your story.
It sounds like your mental health, happiness, and relationship mean a lot to you. Knowing that you want things to shift, so these areas of your life can improve is pivotal in itself! It's so important that as your awareness around your habits and behaviours grow, so does your self-compassion.
Your addiction to porn and cybersex haven't come from nowhere, and they sound like they are meeting a need of yours. Whether that is distraction, a way to feel better, a sense of connection to yourself, or simply habit - addiction is something that needs to be held with curiosity.
It could be really helpful to encourage yourself to sit with your thoughts and feelings, even for a moment, and journal what comes up for you. Are there any patterns? What are you actually needing in these moments? Is there another way to meet this need that feels more aligned to how you want to be behaving in the future?
If this feels too much to explore alone (and it's completely understandable if it is!), perhaps you could think about speaking with a psychologist who specialises in sexual health and addiction? Visiting your GP for a mental health care plan could be a very helpful next step.
In the meantime, our community are always here for you and will be able to provide their care and guidance. Please don't hesitate to share any thoughts or reflections you might have, we would love to hear them!
Warm regards,
Sophie M.
