Hello CoraC,
That sounds tough and I’ve been in the same situation before. Oh my gosh, hearing “you’re so quiet” can feel incredibly invalidating and judgmental can’t it!
I’ve always dealt with social anxiety and it often feels like a big deal to say anything to start with, so I know how much it can affect our self-esteem by being interrupted/dismissed. It often makes me feel hopeless and like I’m better not trying at all. Which leads to being more quiet and a cycle develops.
I was wondering if you’d feel comfortable discussing it with someone that you’re having this issue with? I know this isn’t always a practical option, or something you’d feel comfortable doing depending on the relationship. But with people you trust it might be something to consider doing. Oftentimes people aren’t even aware they’re interrupting or coming across as rude, until it’s pointed out to them. There’s all likelihood that no malice at all is intended, only a lack of awareness on their part, and perhaps their own poor social skills.
There is a great resource on Assertiveness at:
https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself
This could help you find a respectful way to approach the issue with the people that you feel are interrupting you. It’s a good idea to plan what you’d like to say when the issue comes up again, so that you can have your concerns heard clearly, while being respectful. It can be helpful to write yourself a script, and possibly get someone you trust to run through it with you beforehand.
It’s a very strong thing that you’re doing to be thinking about this. You deserve to have your voice heard and feel accepted and wanted in your relationships. It can indeed be very hard on our self-esteem when the issue keeps coming up. Please take care of yourself and be proud that you’re here looking for answers. Take care
Alexlisa
