Paranoid about people talking about me

[Snowboard]

Hello,

I've been dealing with an issue over the last couple of months. I will link back anything people say/do to myself in a very negative way. For example, If I cough and then the person next to me coughs I will think they are making fun of me. I think it sounds silly but this is where it has got to, I never use to be like this. Another example, I could be in one room of a house and hear people talking in the other room and I will find a way in my head to make it out as if they are talking about me even though i'm sure they are not. Or if i'm in a room of people and turn around and make eye contact with someone I will think they're just staring at me.
I'm not sure what to do, I'm 23 and use to be a very confident and outgoing guy. Now I constantly hear at social events 'you should talk more.' This issue (although i'm sure is pretty minor compared to others on the forums) is having a pretty big impact on my social behaviour and mood in general.
Has anybody dealt with something similar? Is there a name for this?

Thanks.

[sister moon]

Hi Snowboard,

Welcome! Thank you for posting.

Firstly this is a very safe supportive space, please don't feel that you're struggles are any less valid than anyone else. This is clearly something that is impacting you, and you are very very welcome to talk about it. In the past i was very reluctant to talk about things if i thought somehow my issue was less worthy of time or empathy than others. Please don't feel like that. Also by sharing you are helping others feel less alone and more able to share. So well done and Thanks!!

I have no idea if it has a name, it most probably does but I don't know it.

Yes! I think I can relate to something similar to this. Not as much now, but when i was younger. Every now and again I still have moments where I have absolutely no idea what to do with myself or how to hold my body, I will become hyper aware of how I am sitting or how I am holding my hands or where I am looking. I feel like everyone is judging my every move. I struggle a lot with feelings of self doubt and self worth. I feel like I am a bad person, like there is something wrong with me. I feel like I am only a heartbeat away from everyone finding out. I start to think that other people, everyone who sees me or comes in contact with me will think badly of me too, like they somehow "know". I would also interpret peoples comments or looks in ways that would align with my warped and very negative self view. It's a horrible way to feel.

I am wondering what your self talk is like and how you see yourself? In my case I think mine was driven by my deep "self loathing" my feelings of unworthy of love and belonging and the fear that there was something deeply and profoundly wrong with me that people would find out about.

I have never adressed the feelings of paranoia directly, but I think what helped me was adressing the extremely negative view I have of myself.

Have you thought about getting professional help? It can feel scary to do if you haven't but I highly recommend it. I often use help lines these days, though it took me a lot of courage to do as i often felt that my struggles where probably not as big as others, but I am glad I did, and they never ever make me feel like I shouldn't call. They can be a good place to start and as it isn't face to face you may feel more comfortable.

Thanks again

Best of luck

[quirkywords]

Hello snowboard,

I too welcome you the forum. As sister moon has said everyone.s problems are valued and supported here.

I think at times we can feel that others may be talking about us or making fun of us. Sometimes it can be we are just misinterpreting the signals.

Sister moon mentioned about how learning to like herself helped her.

There is a thread

Do you like yourself

that you can find through the search engine at top of page.

Sometimes our self talk or inner critic can affect the way we relate others.You may like to like at

Your inner critic can you tame it .

When someone says we should talk more, instantly we stop talking as we feel u der pressure.

Thanks for taking the effort to write your first post. I am sure many reading this will relate to your words.

Quirky

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Snowboard,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for reaching out. Before I jump in I just want to say I'm glad you decided to post even though you feel your issue is 'minor'. In my eyes your issue is just as important and valid to whoever here has a 'major' issue.

I've absolutely dealt with what you're experiencing. While it can happen in anxiety and depression, it doesn't always have to. Specifically, it's a cognitive distortion called mindreading - which is basically a thought that's distorted (warped) where we think we know what others are thinking.

The good thing this stuff has a name and there's lots of ways to tackle it - the most common one is a therapy called CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) which would involve a lot of questioning your thoughts and trying to find the evidence, and then reframing it so that it's more realistic (as well as other things!).

The bad thing is though that this kind of distortion is a little bit like a hungry beast of some sort - the more that you buy into these negative assumptions (i.e. they're making fun of me), you're feeding it. So it becomes more and more automatic to think this way, and it does take a lot of work and practice to learn that this stuff is probably not true.

Hope this answers your question - feel free to jump in or ask more if you like. Theres lots of resources online about it or therapists can be helpful too.