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paranoia?

Little_Rascal
Community Member
So just becoming more awater of my reactions ... 

sent two texts to my partner, saying i love you, and only get xx back, if he has the time to reply surely he has the time to say i love you back.  I feel on hold untillt I hear from him now.  I have finally had 2 good night's sleep and now im edgey and paranoid 😕 

I know he's at work, and now I don't want to drive all the way to work if he has an issue with me just to have a fight and then drive all the way home 😞 

 

9 Replies 9

HA1
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Little Rascal

Your opening sentence - are you finding that you are reacting differently to actions than you have in the past? If so are you putting it down to the 'healing' process, medication or something else?

I am changing in the way I react to actions and behaviours.  Not sure yet what to put it down to.

I hope all is good otherwise.

K

Cheers K. I think I am noticing that how I react is not rational? I think that's what I have a problem with.  Always reacted the same but justified it because " he was a jerk" 

HA1
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Thanks LR

Very interesting.  Mental illness  causes us to make 'irrational' decisions, and/or to think irrationally. In my case both are true to the extreme.  In addition we can also become more sensitive, as well as more reactive to triggers (I'm only guessing, but these could include actions which we perceive to affect trust).

i have discovered myself that I have now made decisions that, in the past, I would have considered totally irrational and, dare I say, crazy!  These can be very minor things like buying something you can't afford, but nonetheless.  Many of these thoughts are associated with catastrophising events or actions by others.  Sounds like you may be doing the same (my opinion only of course).

My question to myself is whether this is temporary or whether I will need to include these traits as issues that I need to manage.

Not sure if I am off track with your original post?

K

HA1
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi LR

Saw in a different thread that you are back.  Good.  but it sounds like you have been through a rough patch.  Here to listen when you are ready to share.

take care & glad to see you back.

K

Thank you 🙂 but with the bipolar and bpd and the mediation triggering an anger episode I don't feel comfortable posting.  I don't seem to have control of my emotions sometimes even though i know logically they are not consistent with what's going on. Thank you for replying I really appreciate it x 

HA1
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
I understand LR, just letting you know that when you are ready ......

Thank you but maybe not on here, I'm a little cautious to post because of how I upset I got after an admins last email. 

Hi LR, nice to hear from you again.

The good far outweighs the negative, the errors. I have sent off a couple of posts over the last 6 months that, in hindsight I wished I hadnt been so firm or more supportive.

But I try to look at the big picture.

About your partners reply. You have to try to learn to give the benefit of the doubt. eg what if he was doing a task at work? What if he doesnt warm to texting? and so on. I knew a guy that texted his wife from his work, same thing "I love you" and he didnt even get a reply. 2 hours later she rang him before he knocked off work. Before she could say a word he yelled at her "you should reply when I send you a loving message".  The phone went quiet. She said in a calm voice- My daughter was taken to hospital from breaking her leg (his step daughter) and my battery was flat on my phone.

He kicked himself.

Take care  Tony WK

I totally get that, My logical thinking never wins against the "what ifs"

 I am still not in the best head space so i don't really want to respond too much or be on here too much incase i get emotional, and get too full on. I would check the site very regularly for a response, i'm not sure that's healthy