Overwhelmed by school

[Newbie25]

I've been feeling extremely overwhelmed, anxious and stressed about school lately. It's only the start of Year 11, but I'm doing two Year 12 subjects, Math Methods and Software Development. I'm a very high-achiever and perfectionist and I have been DUX of nearly all my subjects since Year 7. I feel that this has put a lot of pressure on me each year to continue to keep achieving my goal of being the best.

It feels like everyone expects me to be the best. People keep telling me that I will easily be DUX of Year 12 without having to put in much effort. What they don't realise is that I put in so much effort. I tend to hide it, but I really struggle to learn and understand most things and have to spend hours doing extra homework just so I do as well as I do. I've been doing this for years, but this year it's starting to feel like it's too much. I've got new tests for Software Development every week and I barely have enough time to understand all the new concepts before I'm tested on them. I knew Year 11 and 12 would be challenging, but I didn't think I'd be struggling as much as I am currently.

I've been asking the teacher for help and have been getting by but I don't have anymore class time before the week-long assessment starts. My teacher told me to email him if I have any more questions, but the issue is that I have too many questions. I don't understand enough to even be able to formulate proper questions. The only email I could send is one that says I don't understand it at all, but what's the point in doing that? He won't be able to help me. I just don't know what to do.

Often I feel like I just want to drop out of the subject it's that hard. I've always been up for a challenge, but I feel that this is just too much. There are also times when I feel fine which confuses me even more.

I know I should relax more and not take school so seriously, but that's really hard for me. I like to set goals and achieve them, and it's been my goal to DUX Year 12 since I was in Primary School. I don't think I can just let go of that goal, but at the rate I'm going, I know I won't achieve it.

I'd just really appreciate any advice.

[Jamzies]

Hi Newbie25,
It's surprising for me to see such a gifted student achieving so well already pop in here. You clearly have your eyes on the prize, and you are not giving it up easily.

If the voices of everyone around you are pressuring you to do your best, don't let them control you. You are in charge, and nobody else should completely dictate how you should approach solutions to every issue. You, of course, know yourself best.

Are you losing out on sleeping hours, or perhaps your efficiency due to your homework? If those hours are lost due to procrastination, it may be wise to take a break between studying hours. Nobody can tolerate countless hours of continuous and sometimes, seemingly boring work. Nobody is always on top of their work. I've spent Year 7 and 9 constantly underestimating the expectations, and so having work constantly submitted late. Even now when I've "learned from my mistakes" (Y10), I have unfinished work or incomplete tasks as of now.

If you pressure youself too much by your perfection, you will likely set goals with extremely high expectations. Don't be this way. Set realistic goals that will be reasonable and achievable. Smart, not hard.

I'm not completely sure if this is the advice you were looking for. I would like to provide more, but then it would be quite wordy.

Take care,
JZ

[Gambit87]

Hi Newbie25

Welcome to the forums!

Years 11 and 12 are hard! and if you're not careful you can burn out and that's never a good feeling!

If I were you id take a step back, take a breath or 2 and just relax. Settings goals is one thing but settings goals to be 'the best' kinda sets yourself up for unnecessary pressure, which is what appears to be happening here. why are you pushing yourself so hard to be DUX?

I agree with JZ - 'If you pressure yourself too much by your perfection, you will likely set goals with extremely high expectations. Don't be this way. Set realistic goals that will be reasonable and achievable'

Work smarter, not harder!

If your teacher isn't being much help to you - take your questions to google! There's so much information and forums for software development.

Also - remember to have some fun! take time out for yourself!

[Aaronsis]

Hi Newbie25

It is great that you have come to the BB forum to get some support on this overwhelming feeling of school pressure and I hope we can give you some support as well as some things to think about and consider at this time.

I am just wondering if I can firstly start off by asking you a question? “What would happen if you are not DUX of year 12?” I can hear how much you want this and I can hear how much work you have done in the past to achieve this each year. This is so outstanding and so very wonderful, however, can I suggest to you that it is not what makes you who you are and that it is not who you are as a person. Sure it is an achievement, a very big achievement but it comes at a cost. What is the cost? Well you are feeling very overwhelmed, you are worrying and feeling stressed that you will not achieve this award, you are working so very hard at studying that I am wondering if you have some time to have fun and do some things that give you joy and make you feel happy and put a smile on your face?

I understand that it is an award that comes with prestige and with honor and that it is a symbol of the hard work you have put in, however, it is for only one person, what about the other people who have studied just as hard and they do not get this award, does that make them less worthy? I would suggest not.

Can I also suggest to you that in years to come that people are not going to say “ohh you are Newbie25..you are the person that got DUX through all of school”…or “ohh you are Newbie25, you are the person that didn’t get DUX of year 12”…nor would you want this to be the thing that you are known for or the label that you want to put on yourself…it is not what you are made of inside, it is not your heart or your kindness or your thoughtfulness or what determines your future.

Just some things to think about Newbie25, the pressure of school and of Uni and of life essentially is so much and I think this is a lot of added stress and anxiety for you. Be you, do your study, have some time to laugh, be with your friends, be with your family, smile, feel joy and if in the end you get DUX ..awesome…if you don’t..applause loudly to the person who does….

Hope you understand what I am trying to say here Newbie25, huge hugs to you and hope to chat some more.

Sarah xxx

[Newbie25]

It's incredible how helpful and kind you all are. Thank you so much for all your advice! I already feel so much better!

I totally agree with your point Aaronsis that only one person can get DUX. For some reason, it hadn't occurred to me that so many other insanely talented people still do extremely well, even if they don't get DUX. The reason I wanted DUX in the first place was not only because I've always wanted to stand out, even as a young child, but also because my father was DUX of his high school. Don't get me wrong, he hasn't intentionally put any pressure on me, and neither has my mother, but I've wanted to get DUX just like him in order to make him proud. Which I realise is silly because he is already proud of me and the person I am and will become.

For the rest of the year, I intend to still try hard, but to also relax and spend more time with my music and sport as well as my family and friends.

Once again, thanks for all your advice.

Newbie25

[Aaronsis]

Great to chat some more to you Newbie25 and I am so happy that you understood the message I was trying to convey to you.

I am so sure that your parents are proud of you, the fact that you say they are too highlights that you have loving and supportive parents that no matter what see you for who you are, this is so fantastic and you are so lucky to have such wonderful parents.

I am so happy to hear that you will continue to try your very best, that is important too, not only in school but just in life, do the absolute best you can in everything..friendships, laughing and also education....live your life to the very best, and the fact you will include more time in your life to have fun and to smile is such a great thing. I think the more time you spend doing your sport and playing music and enjoying life, you may actually see some positive results in your schooling too as you will be in a much better mental place.

Every best wish to you Newbie25

Huge hugs

Sarah xx