Over thinking

[Rosm_]

I have been struggling with over thinking for a long time.im an event or something happens during the day at work I can't switch off and think about it for far to long.then I worry that I'm leaning on people to much and worry the will get sick of me any advice

[geoff]

Hello Rosm, as you have posted under the anxiety theme, I wonder whether these thoughts happen when you are about to do something.

People who give us advice may want to stop doing so, because what they say, we don't or can't do, as we aren't at a stage to do so, there is too much they have forgotten about or they simply don't realise the actual problem and when this does happen, we tend to lose these friends, which does upset us, however, sometimes it's best for them not to give us advice when we can't or don't understand what we are going through.

Hope to hear back from you.

Geoff.

Life Member.

[Sophie_M]

Dear Rosm_

Thank you for finding the courage to post about your struggles with overthinking. This is something that quite a few people struggle with. Many of our lovely community members post regularly about their experiences with the topic.

We understand that when we overthink, we are often worried about how other people are going to interpret our actions and decisions, and we are often afraid that we will be judged harshly for the actions and decisions. One reason this may be important to us is that we often have a strong need to be accepted by the people we admire, respect, and wish to emulate.

Our wonderful community champions and community members will have excellent suggestions of ways they use to help control the need to overthink.

We would encourage you to ring our wonderful experienced counsellors on 1300 22 4636. They are available 24 hours per day, every day of the year. They should be able to help you lessen the overthinking when you are stuck in it. You may also wish to call Lifeline on 13 11 14 which is also open 24 hours per day.

Warm regards,

Sophie M.
 

[Rosm_]

Yes you are right it does happen when I do something.or when I have done something earlier in try to think how I could do it better.

[Beeee]

Hello Rosm_

Thank you for sharing, you're not alone in how you feel. I am also someone who overthinks everything. It can be exhausting as you just want to be able to get through your day but can't shake off the thoughts that follow you everywhere. 

Having others to rely on for support is a good thing. Your friends, family and loved ones will surely be happy to help you however they can. If you have any concerns, voice them, it's better to be open and come to a mutual understanding than assuming the worse when it might not be true. 

Recently, when overthinking, I have been trying to constantly remind myself to "focus on the task at hand". I have it written up on sticky notes around my room and recite it to myself when I'm getting overwhelmed, almost like a mantra. Something else that has helped in the past is writing my thoughts down in a journal, this helps me take the thoughts out of my brain and put them somewhere else. Finally, if you haven't tried it, meditation can really help bring your focus to the present. Perhaps you might like to try a guided mediation from YouTube. 

Wishing the best,

Beeee

[Rosm_]

thanks for your advise, when i share how fell with people how I am, I worry about how they think of me and worry I'm a burden on them, like having to deal with me analysing everything

[Flop]

Hi Rosm_,

The people close to you care about you greatly and upon hearing any issues you're facing I'm sure the only thing they wish for is that they could rid you of these worries.

I promise you, you don't burden anyone with your concerns, nor are you a burden yourself. Everyone goes through something at some point and it's good that you allow yourself to be open to those who are close to you.

When you feel this way, think of how you'd feel/react if a best friend relied on you or opened up about something they're struggling with. I'm sure you'd only want to help.

Lastly, when you find yourself lost in thoughts, try your very best to engage with what's directly in front of you, maybe even acknowledge that you're overthinking right then and there and that you could be more present. If you're more focused with what's going on around you it's harder for your brain to take over and go into processing mode lol.

Wish you the very best 🙂

[Rosm_]

that is a very good point.i over think about asking for help or if i am by my self i over think that i texting people to much.

[sbella02]

Rosm_,

Thank you so much for opening up to us, and we warmly welcome you to the forums. I can see others have already given some great advice, and I'm here to offer my own. 

I'm very much an overthinker, ever since I was in school. I remember I would pick up on what I thought were subliminal behavioural cues of others, and taking them personally. I began to have thoughts about whether my friends secretly dislike me or think badly of me, or whether people were annoyed that I was speaking too much etc. 

Challenging these thoughts can be a great way of diminishing them, or reducing their potency. Beeee has given a fantastic suggestion in the way of journalling, whereby we can express where we believe the thoughts have come from and what we fear will happen if the thought is true. This kind of insight can be useful when considering what actions you may be able to take to alleviate the discomfort or fear. 

I will also echo Beeee in that voicing your concerns with others can be another helpful way of reducing the discomfort that comes with overthinking. Asking what somebody where their head is at can not only offer you some closure that can challenge overthinking, but it can also bring you closer to the person as it will help you to better understand them and their way of thinking. If you're not comfortable with addressing the person directly, asking a trusted close friend or family member about what they suggest you should do can also be very helpful, as they often have great insight into you, your personality, and your interpersonal relationships. 

Would you feel comfortable discussing your overthinking with a GP, therapist, or psychologist? Sometimes, it can help to hear some professional advice and coping mechanisms, if you would be open to this. 

I hope this advice is helpful for you, and I wish you all the best. Please reach out to us more if you need, we're here to offer you support. 

SB

[Rosm_]

thanks everyone for the great advise. I thought I was alone how I fell but posting on here has been very insightful