Outsider

[dean_TSO]

Hi 

maybe some background to wear I’m at I’m 58 unemployed married wife is on a disability pension because of a severe spinal deformation. I’m reliant on the unemployment benefit to support myself. 
I’ve lived with depression and social anxiety as long as I can remember first suicidal attempt grade 7 drug overdose 2 weeks in hospital. 
I managed to avoid antidepressants until my early fifties. I’m currently taking a low dose. 
My problem is that I’m sick of fighting my demons just to participate in society I would prefer to isolate myself as much as possible and try and live my life in peace and quit but how can I do that if I still reliant on the outside world for my income etc. 

[Sophie_M]

Dear dean_TSO

Thank you for your raw and honest post, and welcome to the forums.

It's a difficult conundrum, isn't it dean_TSO? Wanting to live in peace and quiet, but needing to participate in the outside world for your income and other reasons. There's quite a lot who feel this way, and perhaps some of our other wonderful community members will also resonate with this sentiment and you'll be able to connect with each other in this online world - hopefully that will be less triggering for your demons and yet help to provide that communication and connection that is so important even when we are also conversely seeking solitude.

Either way, we're glad you've reached out, and we want you to know that we care about you! We've reached out to you privately as well, dean_TSO, so please check your inbox.

We've mentioned this already on another post this morning, but it bears repeating again. BB has a suicide safety planning app which is very helpful for those who are feeling at risk (and you can even complete it with a counsellor over the phone if you like?). It's called 'Beyond Now' and you can find it here. It's helpful in more ways than one, and when you do it, it might be really awesome if you feel like sharing your thoughts on the process here in this thread?

If you want to chat, please call us on 1300 22 4636. We're here 24/7, and it's completely free and confidential. Our counsellors are all qualified and non-judgemental. Or, if you'd rather text than phone, you can chat to one of our counsellors via webchat here.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Kind regards, 

Sophie M
 

[Bob_22]

Hi dean_TSO,

Thank you for posting here and sharing your story. I'm sorry to hear that you've been battling your demons recently but you pose a great question. Struggling to engage with society is something I'm sure a lot of users here can empathise with. 

As Sophie M mentioned, you can get a lot of social benefit by participating here and on other similar online communities. Regarding your social anxiety however, there are a few options. I might recommend having a chat with your GP or psychiatrist (whomever prescribed your medication) and considering a referral to a psychologist. Psychologists are great at using Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to help with social anxiety and specific phobias. One of the main methods used is called "graded exposure". This is where you undertake "exposure tests" to eventually reach "gradual desensitisation". I've attached a link to a handy fact sheet to it here: https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/-/media/CCI/Mental-Health-Professionals/Social-Anxiety/Social-Anxie... 

There is also some helpful information on the beyond blue main page about social phobia as well as a fact sheet about signs, symptoms and tips for recovery. 

My friends who are psychologists say there is nothing wrong with preferring your own company and staying at home but if it reaches a point of anxiety which impairs your functioning, then that is a sign you might need some help. Please update us on how you get on and I hope you can find some comfort here on the forums. 

Bob

[Petal22]

Hi dean TSO,

Im sorry you are feeling this way I understand it’s hard.

Im so sorry to hear of your suicide attempt I understand that our demons can try to get the better of us at times but I know that you are stronger than your demons and they aren’t going to win you are.

Im sorry you have a spinal deformation I understand that spinal deformation can sometimes cause chronic pain as well.

In regards to the antidepressants did you feel that they needed avoiding?

I currently take an antidepressant and I’m so grateful that they are available, the people in the olden days weren’t so lucky.

I believe an antidepressant treats a medical issue just a heart medication would.

I understand that you want to be isolated but do you know what your alive and that in itself is a beautiful gift and I believe that you have so much more life to live.

I understand social anxiety can be difficult but it really is something you can learn to overcome and manage.

Please feel free to come back to us anytime we are here for you.

[dean_TSO]

thanks for your responses and encouragement