orthorexia and health anxiety

[Jessme]

Hi everyone,

Does anyone out there suffer from eating problems due to obsessive health fears... I am severely underweight due to my health anxiety and OCD... I am always convinced I will get a horrible illness if I eat unhealthy. I have been diagnosed with orthorexia on top of my familial major depression and OCD. I'm on strong meds to help but I'd like to know if anyone is in the same boat. I am always in pain and am wondering if it has more to do with my weight than anything else. I keep having X-rays and blood tests but the clear results only quell my anxiety for a short amount of time until my next health related worry appears.. I'm so tired of this.

Thanks.

[Zeal]

Hi Jess,

I can relate to your situation. I've had OCD since I was 13, so for 10 years now. I have a serotonin deficiency, and I've been on SSRI antidepressants for four years. I was diagnosed with Anorexia (though my eating disorder was atypical) at 19, and voluntarily admitted myself to hospital under the guidance of my psychiatrist. I was severely underweight. I ate "meals" every day, but they were just too healthy and low in energy.

Long story short, I gained back the weight needed to maintain a minimally healthy weight (I've always been in the low end of the healthy weight range anyway) within about 10 months. This was hard, as I had to eat large meals plus dessert and snacks, but it was well worth it. I learned the hard way that being underweight was far more dangerous for my health than eating some treats and "junk food" at times. I eat fairly healthily now, but don't like fast food. I'm okay with eating small amounts of chocolate, some pastry etc.

So I went through a really rough time as a result of being severely underweight. It affects how you think and feel. I didn't enjoy things I used to and didn't have the energy to do them anyway; I couldn't concentrate on anything like reading, studying or even plot twists in movies; I got really cold easily, and I couldn't enjoy meals with friends or family. Recovering from disordered eating doesn't mean you then have to eat absolutely everything. I still don't eat creamy desserts, for instance. As a young child I didn't like cream, so this is more a food preference. I also don't like fast food like McDonalds and KFC. These minor exemptions don't prevent me from enjoying food 🙂

OCD can definitely fuel disordered eating. Definitely see your doctor (GP) regularly. Being referred to a psychologist or other professional is a good idea, so that you can get specific help for both your OCD and orthorexia. Ask your doctor for information on the health effects of being underweight. There are so many, and pain is included! I got bad back and muscle pain when I was underweight.

I hope you can seek plenty of professional and emotional support!

It would be great to hear back from you 🙂

Best wishes,

SM