Old job vs new job anxiety

[Busymum]

I really need some advice. I've had anxiety and depression on and off for years. Mostly mine is environmental and I'm taking care of my mental health by seeing a psychologist regularly.

The thing is - my anxiety/depression is not triggered by emergency situations - in fact I seem to do well in these situations and are able to think clearly and help the person who is in need. I'm the "go to" person when someone wants help and I will go all out to help them. I actually feel good about myself when I'm helping someone.

I want a job where I'm helping people more than I currently do so I've gone for a couple of "emergency based" positions but the anxiety when I apply is horrible. I took a typing test yesterday, I was shaking and could barely type yet I've been typing for over 20 years.

I'm comfortable in my current job (I've been there 10 years) but really want a change but this application/test anxiety is debilitating and stopping me from applying and when I do apply I don't test well at all.

The test is apparently designed to see how you cope in these type of stressful situations (as in emergency situations) but my issue isn't the emergency its the test.....

I don't know what to do - the testing I've done previously does not reflect my skills and performance when I actually do the job but my self esteem can't keep taking rejection based on test results.

Do I just stay where I am? Do I just take the test knowing that I'll likely fail and end up depressed that I'm not good enough? I'm so angry at myself right now for my performance on the typing test - I don't even know if I'll have an opportunity to progress.

[Unbeliever]

I'm likely the worst person to try and give you suggestions as I never have suffered from anxiety (My issue is extremely dark thoughts)... but since no-one else has responded yet, I thought I would give it a shot.

I never studied to much for any test neither during school nor afterwards in the world. Kind of did the minimum required for preparation for them and that's it. But I often tested quite well regardless. Especially as an adult, often at the top end of the spectrum.

But I have a secret...

Every test I ever took, no matter what it was... I never cared if I passed or not.

Don't get me wrong. I WANTED to pass (otherwise why bother taking the test at all?), but I didn't CARE if I passed this time or the next time (or the time after that).

What I mean is... there are very few tests that are "final and absolute and you will never have the chance to take again" as an adult. Most tests, you will get another opportunity to take them again in the future if you have to. Sure it could be a whole year afterwards (which would suck obviously) or you might have to pay a fee to take it again (like for a driving license test or something)... but my point is YOU CAN take it again if you do happen to fail.

For adults there is rarely ever a "do or die" forever for all time test situation.

So I have entered every test I have ever taken with this thought in mind. "It would be great if I pass, but if I don't it's not the end of the world, I'll just take it again next time" (or something similar).

Result? Calm as a cucumber every time. No stress, no panic, no increased heartbeat, nothing interfering or messing with my head. Just me and that test calmly interacting, taking my time, no rush or hurry. Just answering one question and moving onto the next. I don't even look at the clock until I'm finished because if I run out of time... it's fine and doesn't really matter anyway.

So of course, I've never failed a test, or ever run out of time. Often I finish before the others, but I don't leave early, just spend the rest of the time checking and revising my answers. Seeing if there is any way to improve them until the time is up etc.

So the trick is to understand fully that it doesn't matter WHEN you pass the test. All that matters is that eventually you will. This test is just a practice run for the next one... and if you accidentally pass, that's cool too.

Make THIS test always trivial compared to the next time you take it in the future. And you'll likely pass every time.

[sunnyl20]

Hi Busymum,

Thank you for your post. I am really sorry to hear that you are struggling with anxiety - it sounds like it is having quite a debilitating effect on you. It is great that you are getting support from a psychologist - have you been able to talk with them about the difficulties you have been having with anxiety in relation to job applications and testing? Are you able to do some practice tests before the application so that you are able to get into a bit more of a routine doing the tests, to see if this helps to reduce some of the anxiety? When you are doing the application test, can you identify any thoughts or specific things that are making you anxious? Or is it more of a physical feeling of stress/anxiety? Is there anything that has helped relieve or reduce your anxiety in the past like breathing techniques or grounding strategies?

If you are really wanting a change of job, I would say go for it. But I think it is important to moderate your expectations and try to brainstorm ways of approaching the applications to reduce your anxiety. You have identified that the test results are not reflective of your skills and experience, they show that your anxiety is having a significant impact on your ability to show your true potential - they DO NOT mean that you are "not good enough"! It is understandable that you are frustrated with the process, I am sorry that you are feeling so angry with it all. Would you consider maybe applying to a couple of jobs as a "practice run"?

Please know that you can talk on here at anytime. We are here to listen and support you where we can. Take care.