ocd thoughts getting stuck in head

[brightpanic]

hi !!! I have OCD, anxiety, depressive tendencies, and I'm currently going through the process of inquiring about an Asperger's diagnosis (long story). recently my girlfriend broke up with me (she said that it was because she was struggling to handle a relationship and mental health issues and school), but she said that it was a mistake and she still loves me. I miss her, a lot, and I know that I'm only 18 so realistically it probably isn't what my mum deems as actual love, but I feel as if I love her and I want to give this another chance.

my mum, my dad and my best friend all think that the decision is a horribly bad one to make, and my parents are berating me for it and saying that I never listen to people's advice and that getting back together with her is setting myself up for failing my hsc (i want to achieve high marks and my parents have high expectations, and they dont want the past years efforts to end in a bad mark and a breakdown).

my OCD has become a problem with this tho, because I'm needing constant reassurance lately that my best friend and my parents still love me, and that they don't hate me. its become an obsession for me, and anytime my best friend sighs or doesn't reply back to my text messages, the thought that she hates me and doesn't want to talk to me and finds me annoying just repeats over and over and over and over again in my head, and I feel as if i can't escape the thought and the anxiety that it induces.

does anyone have any tips on how to deal with obsessions and obtrusive thoughts in regards to relationships?

[Andre_P]

I’m no expert but I know enough. Coming from some one who experiences ocd immensely. I will say this. You have to get to a place where you can comfortably deal with ocd - A happy medium.

e.g. if your obsession is to have extremely clean hands then your compulsion is to wash them. If you wash them for too long or too many times it may ease your ocd/anxiety but in the end your obsessions and compulsions will get stronger and you’ll need to do it more and more often.

However completely ignoring the fact that you want to wash your hands at all will give your on the spot immense anxiety. A solution would be to gradually cut down on the amount of time you spend washing your hands or the amount of times you wash your hands.

Mental health really is a complex thing. Hope things get better for you 👊

[iitzMickle]

Hey mate when you find yourself overthinking take a few really deep breaths the longer you can do this the better say a minute+ then take some time 15 seconds or so to notice every thing you can see then same again for everything you can hear then same again for everything you can feel then take a minute or so to feel see and hear everything you can all at once this will bring you back to the current moment and help you live in the now. Also if this doesn’t work and the intrusive thoughts continue I found Hypnotherapy helped me when I was having retroactive jealousy in a past relationship of mine it was horrible I was having literal visions of my partner at the time in previous sexual relationships and could literally see it like it was a movie and hypnotherapy helped me get completely rid of it. Hope this helps

[Andre_P]

You on the spot**

yes meditation is good. I use smiling mind app. I use the drop the anchor technique too. 🙂

[phoenixwaitingtorise]

I wish I could offer advice but know that you’re not alone in that feeling. I’ve been leaning on one of my best mates a lot recently and to the point where I have started to drive him away. He’s such a good person but my anxiety and constant need for reassurance has become too much on him and even though he says the right things, I still read into the delayed replies, the hesitation in initiating conversations and just that he’s trying to avoid me dumping more on him. It can make you feel like a burden and a hassle when that’s not how these people really ever mean to make us feel. We know that. I’m sure you know that. All I can do is tell you that even though you don’t feel their love all the time, it’s there. Sometimes we are so consumed by the darkness to see their light shining on us. You’ll catch a glimpse of it every so often so write those times down to remind you of how they have shown love and support and focus on that in the moments that it seems too hard to see.

[geoff]

Hello Brightpanic, and welcome to the forums.

A profoundly terrific comment as I too have OCD, and can I say that people who don't have this type of illness may also experience the same feeling, however, with OCD it's much more intensified and can create problems along the way.

Could I also mention that as you get older, as I've experienced, is that it doesn't seem to escalate and aggravate you as it did once before, but to get there is not easy.

If you are reassured by someone by a return comment, text or phone call that they still love you that may only last until you talk to each other a few minutes later, then once again the worry begins to happen.

Is this what is happening?

Geoff.

[Gambit87]

Hi brightpanic,

I too have OCD (Harm OCD) which appears to be a little different I think.

I suggest seeing a GP, get a mental health care plan and speak to a psychologist! I've been seeing one for about 6 months now and I've noticed my intrusive thoughts have lessened. They will be able to talk you through strategies to help.