OCD STRESSES

[KFPDW]

I've been told that I'm way too hard on myself by lots of people. I can't help it I feel like this is hardwired into me. Like I should be able to get even little things right the first time round. I shouldn't be getting annoyed every time I fail or mess up or can't get things right.

I feel like this can be applied to a lot of things in my life that if I don't get something right the first time or perfect even, I get really upset and angry at myself automatically. It's not easy feeling this way like I got to get things right all the time. 😦 It's so hard. I feel like it’s hardwired into my brain since forever. If I can’t get something right the first time then doesn’t matter how many tries I make afterwards or find ways to improve to get better, the fact remains I feel like I should have had it the first time and there’s no reason why I shouldn’t. Especially when it’s something I know how to do well. It’s like this friction that I just can’t do it or look at whatever I do because it’s just there. That I failed at something I should be able to do. It feels frustrating and my brain locks on this ongoing cycle that won’t stop. 😔

The OCD stresses can get really annoying. I feel like they are invisible barriers that prevent me from enjoying things in life. Like there’s this special edition book I got for my birthday last year from my Mum and I really treasure it. It’s a huge heavy volume. Only a few days after I got it, in my haste to put it away when we had guests coming to the house, One of the pages got caught as I was closing it and there’s this sort of 2 vertical creases on the front page. And no matter how much I try to smooth it out, I won’t go away. It doesn’t stop me from reading the book and it’s not like it’s water damage or anything like that. But it’s sucks to know that it’s there, it can’t be fixed in anyway I know who because it bends both ways and it happened a few days after I got it.

It’s a special book and I didn’t want that sort of thing to happen, at least so soon. And I feel like I can’t read it because it happened. I’ve been told that creases and worn pages show how much a book is loved and what not. But I feel like the creases is something that could have been easily avoided and I’m annoyed at myself that it happened. This is the sort of hell I live with in my head that won’t go away. 😦 😕

[Petal22]

Hi KFPDW,

I understand and I’m really sorry that this is happening to you!

Have you had any professional help for your OCD?

You really can learn how to break free of its grips!

Have you ever tried meditation?

I have a lived experience of OCD I was stuck in its vicious OCD cycle it was horrible and unrelenting at times…..

I did a specialised therapy it was an intervention into the OCD and it gave me the tools and skills I needed to break if it’s vicious cycle.

The first major thing that helped me to recover was learning what my OCD cycle was.

Do you feel like you question your thoughts? Or analyse them?

Do you feel like you are constantly stuck in your head?

These are just some of the things that keep us in our OCD cycle.

Once you know your cycle you can learn to disengage from it using certain tools and skills….. like once you have the thought turn your attention to something in the present moment.

Meditation can teach you that you are not your thoughts but the watcher of your thoughts ……. It takes practice…..

By learning meditation you can learn to observe your cycle and then learn to disengage from it.

Does your OCD cause you distress? Mine did ……

Now that I’ve recovered I’m no longer stuck in my head and if I ever feel like I’m getting to far into my head I can disengage ahead of the OCD cycle…. You too can learn to do this…

Ive written two threads you may be interested in reading

From someone who had OCD and recovered

Effective treatment for OCD Metacognitive Therapy

Im here if you want to chat or have any questions

[KFPDW]

Hi thanks for replying to my post. I am in therapy at the moment thanks for asking. And the OCD thoughts do cause stress. The thing that gets me worked up is the things I can't change or I don't want them to happen or I have no any control over it or there's nothing I can do to make it 100%.

When that happens I feel like I can't let it go. Or get over it for that matter or move on. Make a needle getting stuck in a record.

[Petal22]

That’s ok 😊

That’s great that you are in therapy have they been able to teach you how to recognise your OCD cycle? And then give you skills to disengage?

My intrusive thoughts also bought me great distress it was a very cruel disorder to go through..

In therapy are they teaching you how to let go of the thoughts so you can move through them?

It takes perseverance so keep persevering you will get there..

You will learn how to keep the record playing your way…..so it doesn’t get stuck..

Im here to chat to you …

[KFPDW]

It's slow going. Monotonous at Best.

Right now I feel like what's the point of challenging these thoughts? It doesn't change anything in the material world, can it?

[Petal22]

It is slow going I understand and that’s ok…… you will get there just put the work in……. and then you will see the results.

Challenging your thoughts really can change things in the material world! By challenging your thoughts you can learn to change your perceptions…. This opens up a whole new world! Believe me I’m living it …….

How are you going with thought challenging? In the beginning I found it confronting but as I did it more with the intrusive thoughts that bothered me the more I could squash them and feel more superior to my intrusive thoughts…..

I really learned to let go of things and move forward… you can too 😊

Im here to chat and help you if you need

[KFPDW]

Sorry for the delayed reply. It's hard to explain how I feel. I have intrusive thoughts and I know they are not real. So that part is under warps. I just feel stressed all the time and I wish things would just go my way and that there's a infinite redo button at hand so dumb mistakes can be undone.

I know life doesn't work that way with everyone but it's hard to get past that sometimes. It really is. 😕

[Petal22]

That’s ok 😊

I understand in regards to the intrusive thoughts we know they aren’t real, they seem irrational but they feel very real.

I understand it’s hard when our bodies react to our intrusive thoughts with anxiety and panic I really understand that this feeling is very difficult to deal with.

But with the correct therapy we can learn to disengage from our OCD cycle before we get to far into it and therefore we don’t go through the intense anxiety and distress that the cycle can cause.

Is your therapy helping you to move forward?

I understand with wanting a redo button due to our pasts sometimes…………. What we can do so we can move forward is to forgive ourselves and others for the past ….. forgive ourselves for not knowing any better in that moment in our life journey…..

This will give you peace and allow you to move forward…….

Practice staying in the present moment, when your thoughts start to wonder bring your attention back to the present moment.

Another useful way is to put your attention on your breath when your mind wonders off the breath and you notice this bring it back to the breath………. ( this train’s your attention our attention is like a muscle and it needs exercise).

I really understand the feeling of being stressed all of the time and highly anxious it’s really hard……. But you need to remind yourself that the way you are feeling now is temporary and things will improve.

When we challenge our thinking sometimes we can challenge it for the ways we think of our pasts and ourselves……. We can learn to challenge the perceptions we hold of ourselves from our pasts………. ( perceptions can always be changed)….

Have you ever tried meditation?

Letting go will help you to grow and forgiveness will set you free…….

Im here to chat to you

[KFPDW]

Your advice makes sense and I'll take it onboard. The forgiveness part is something I can work with and meditation. And yes, my therapy is helping me move forward. I has done for some time.

[geoff]

Hello KFPDW, perfectionism is one trait that's aligned with OCD where everything has to be perfect and the opposite is hoarding, let alone whatever else happens in between, but no one can ever be perfect, only in their mind, but others may not see it that way.

With OCD you might have to count to a specific number, let's say 4 where in your mind you count to this number before you're happy or you may do things a dozen times but still count to 4 then you can get on with your day.

Intrusive thoughts are distressing but in my experience, they never happen, I've only learnt this over the last 20 years.

With this book are you able to count to your specific number while turning the page and then accept that it's creased, just a suggestion.

Best wishes.

Geoff.