OCD or ASD or something else???

[matt48]

I'm really struggling right now. I have an obsession to be in control of every aspect of my life.

I hate changes in my environments, for example, a roof was put up outside my room and I can see it from my window when i'm lying down. I cried for the first week it was up to the point where I made myself physically sick.

I purposely make my desk, my room, my locker and pretty much anything i can messy and unorganized. By making everything messy it can't get cleaner by itself and it makes me feel very in control because if it's messy it can't get ruined or messed up. If someone else were to clean my room I would feel nauseous and probably cry and if I have to clean my room I feel very uncomfortable being in that space and would most likely pull stuff out and make it messy again. I also struggle with things study planners and if I do not follow them to the exact time I become very anxious and feel sick so I have also decided not to have set times to do study. I don't know if this counts as OCD or not because most things I see OCD tends to be describe as like excessive cleaning whereas I feel like I'm doing the reverse.

When I said I obsess over being control of everything in my life that includes other people. I plan my conversation with other people and how they should react before approaching them and if they don't react in the way I predict then I break out into uncontrollably laughter which is apparently is a coping mechanism according to my former psychologist. I do this in any awkward social situation and I'm not sure if it's linked to this or my sedatephobia but i thought it was worth mentioning

I have been diagnosed with ODD and ADHD although as far as I'm aware this is not apart of that. I have also been told by my pediatrician that I show traits of mild Aspergers. I have other things I do like I avoid touching the colour yellow and I can't eat skittles and other colored foods like that without feeling sick because I don't know how I should eat them (although they are delicious).

So are these traits of autism/aspergers or OCD or something entirely different? and should I seek help from a doctor?? Please help I am very confused and unsure if I should seek medical help

[Nurse_Jenn]

Hi matt48,

Great to see you posting on the beyondblue forum - welcome. It is a really great starting point towards getting some support with your struggles . Wanting to feel like your in control of your life is a common occurrence and I know there are many others out there that feel similar. By reaching out here you are taking some control and moving forward. Please take time to acknowledge yourself as this step can be a tough one. It sounds that the worry you are experiencing in relation to not having things a certain way or when change occurs in your environment is distressing enough to seek some input from a health professional.

From your post, you mentioned you have already seen a paediatrician and a psychologist and I wonder if you see either of these health professionals regularly? If not, you might reconnect with one of them by making an appointment so you can discuss your experiences and start working out how you can set some goals towards decreasing your distress. If you can't make an appointment with either of these professionals, you can visit your GP and have a chat.

Sometimes traits are just that and it doesn't mean you must have a diagnosis that they fall into. It is the level of distress you are feeling about these symptoms that is really important and if you are feeling distressed, then reaching out for help from a health professional would be a good start. You might be able to access someone at your school counselling service or if you have a trusted friend or family member who you can talk with, they may also be able to work with you on getting to the right support for you.

And if you would like to talk to someone immediately, don't hesitate to reach out to the beyondblue support line on 1300 22 4636

Wishing you the best possible outcome,

Nurse Jenn