OCD? - Not sure

[Jazly]

Hi .. I'm new here and I don't really know where to begin as I'm finding it hard to define what I'm feeling.

My daughter had a baby a few months ago and I love the baby so much, I can't wait to see her and play with her and I often look at her photos and they bring a smile to my face.

The strange part is I keep feeling like nothing else can matter now. It's very hard to explain as I don't understand it myself. I feel like friends can't be important or interests or anything that I might like to do. It's like my mind is just going over and over things, analysing every relationship and I feel like the baby has to be the only thing that matters and now I'm just nothing and worthless.  It's consuming.  When people say that their kids are their life I get a sinking feeling because it feels like it's confirming the way I'm feeling. I don't want to feel like this as I can't have a life. I love the baby very much, she's just a delight. So why is this ridiculous thought pattern taking over.

I probably haven't explained it very well as a lot of what I'm feeling really can't be explained - it's beyond me, it makes no sense, its illogical, I can see that - so why does it affect me so much? It's all very confusing.

[geoff]

dear Jazly, welcome to the site and thanks for your comment.

With OCD as I have had it for 54 years we do have irrational thoughts, which consume our minds, and for me it was hurting my Mum, but I loved her so dearly I would never do anything to hurt her, I would protect her in any circumstances, so it was my irrational thoughts.

Why it happens I can't tell you, but it's a control that OCD puts on us.

I would like to hear from you again and explain a few more details. Geoff.

[Jazly]

Thanks Geoff … It sounds like you've suffered a long time. I hope you have found a way to deal with this awful condition.

I have always had anxiety and looking back there were probably times that OCD played a part, but not hugely. Are there specific thoughts that tend to plague OCD sufferers or can it be anything such as what I'm experiencing now or am I just going nuts.

[AGrace]

Hi Jazly,

I wanted to ask if this is your first time being a grand mother? It can be quite common that we experience hormonal changes when our children have children. Sometimes these changes can make us feel maternal again, which might be the reason why your grand child has now become very paramount for you.

I'm not sure that I'd class this as OCD, but visiting your Dr will give you confirmation. Given these thoughts are affecting your livelihood I think a chat with a GP would be very worthwhile. Have you been able to speak with your daughter about how you're feeling? 

Finally, I don't think you're going nuts. I hope you will keep us updated.

AGrace