Not sure what to do

[Guest_44772179]

Struggling with no support

I’m a young mum to a toddler, trying to navigate relationships, working full time (I have 2 jobs) and nursing full time.
Safe to say that’s a lot for anyone to deal with day to day.

on top of this, I have been struggling every single day of my life since childhood. I’ve been experiencing debilitating anxiety since I was 6 (granted I always thought I felt guilty for no reason but didn’t understand the feeling till I got older)
I used to tic a lot as a kid and many other issues like that which were never taken seriously or followed up on by my parents. Instead they would shame me about it
and this has snowballed to the point where I’ve experienced multiple traumatic events and I’m struggling to process it all on top of my day to day life, this anxiety and everything else happening in my brain

I notice One normal issue anyone else experiences really takes a toll on me and I internalise all my emotion with it

I struggle with reaching out for help I always have. But I have made steps to outwardly tell my partner or family or friends but they seem to picture me as someone who “handles everything” and any advice they give just seems so superficial and vague. Stuff like “oh but you’ll work it out like you always do :)”

Helplines and counselling services are just as useless

I seeked out professional help but sadly I’m not in the financial position to pay $300 per session a week

I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. It seems wherever I seek help in the places your supposed to, they don’t work and when I try talk to my ‘support’ I feel like I’m not being believed or taken seriously

I don’t know what to do but I know I can’t keep living with this burden for the rest of my life. I’m so overwhelmed most days I constantly think of ways I can try to run away or escape everything… this isn’t healthy

What should I do?

[Hickury]

Hi, 

You are not alone, I have always been labelled as the high achiever who can do anything and get over any difficult situation. But I am not, I am as vulnerable (or even more) as any other person. I have struggled for so long and I have tried professional help, to be fairly honest, I have found out that having someone to talk to helps a lot. But not anyone, I mean someone who understand how it feels, meaning someone that is going through a similar situation. I am not a qualified helper but I struggle everyday with PTSD, depression and anxiety, and somehow I manage to get through day by day, I am happy to listen to (or read) and provide some type of cheering. I know how dealing with anxiety since childhood feels, and can share my experiences as well. I think acknowledging how you fell is a very good start.. happy to chat more about it if you want to? 

[Flowergirl97]

Hi, it sounds like you have been struggling for a long time which I believe is sadly often the case for many people. 
Although I’m not an expert, I know that money is a huge source of stress and from your situation it sounds like a lot of your stress is from your financial situation (even if that may not seem like the source). I would suggest trying to act very carefully with your money and create a very well planned budget to make sure no money is wasted. If you can get your GP to get you a mental health care plan then you can claim some of the money back for your psychologist appointments through Medicare. There are also a few online places like this which are free where you can get some support when you feel overwhelmed. I have also found keeping a journal very helpful. I hate having the pressure to write in it everyday so I only write in it when I feel like it, often when I’m really confused about something or overwhelmed and need to sort out my thoughts and feelings. Find a pen you like to write with and a hard cover writing book and keep it in a secret place just for your eyes only. 
Also possibly most important is I suggest finding something that is enjoyable to you that doesn’t take a long time to do like dancing to a song you love, wearing your favourite earrings, or washing your hands with a nice smelling soap, that you can do everyday. One thing that you do just for yourself and no one else. As a mother and a partner you may feel like you don’t have time for yourself anymore. Giving yourself something or even better, a few things you can do for yourself everyday, will help you enjoy each day and take care of yourself while in a busy time of your life 🙂 

[Tash]

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. As someone who had several "friends" who just keep placating me rather than actually help, I'm here for you & would be happy to listen 😊