No good at small talk

Guest_1055
Community Member

Today I find myself thinking, probably over thinking.....well I am not good at small talk. Anyone got any thoughts on small talk? I know it can be helpful in a way but seems meaningless in other ways.

OK bye now

Shelley xxx

100 Replies 100

If I am in a good mood, I can fake small talk. After a few beers for example. I don't like small talk generally.. The charmers of the world use it to manipulate others. Give me long serious egghead conversations anyday!! (only because I like the tv show eggheads)

Sorry you feel small talk is a waste of time. It starts conversations which can then lead to deep and meaningfuls. It also includes the more reticent of people without shining a spotlight on them.

 

Mary

Hey Scotchfinger

If I am understanding you correctly, which I hope I am. Are the people you are referring to that manipulate others. ...Are they like say a salesman that comes to your door. And they act friendly towards you, like I think they use a type of small talk.....they say things in hope they will get a sale. They probably don't really care about you at all, they just want the sales. Is that what you are saying? Because if you are, well yes I too find it hard to trust that salesman. Plus I have been persuaded before.

Hope you are going OK today, and that you are finding some things to do and thankyou so much for your reply.

With hugs

Shelley xxx

Are you struggling today Mary, are you OK?

And to be honest with you, I wasn't going to laugh at you for falling out of a bath. I was thinking ouch. But then the rest of your paragraph..... well I smiled on the inside.

That is a good thing to help those people with disabilities to read and write. Even though my son has no disability, I taught him to read and to write, as we did homeschooling. And the memory that I have in my mind, on the day he finally understood what all the letters were about, and how it actually could turn it into a story. Well I saw like a light switch on in his mind. Way cool.....

I haven't tried scrapbooking, but I have noticed all the pretty paper and stuff in Spotlight.

You went to uni in your fifties, so what did you study? And were you like the only one that was your age.

I do hope you are OK today Mary.

With hugs

Shelley xx

 

I was half joking actually. Guess my sense of humour can be weird eh.

But I am cynical about the cynical world we live in, as mentioned dealing with slippery salesmen and con artists. A genuinely friendly person is a nice experience. No airs, no graces, totally transparent. Authentic is the buzz word these days. Yeah I like authentic.

Hey Scotchfinger

Please don't be discouraged.

I'm not sure if Mary has crossed you off. From my understanding though, people on the BB forums, all struggle with issues, including emotional type ones. Some days we don't feel that good, some days are better. So perhaps she is just struggling today....

You OK?

Shelley xx

Hey Scotchfinger

I"m so glad you came back, I thought you may have taken off and left Beyond Blue. Authentic is good......

Shelley xx

Hi Shelley anne,

Yeah I am a better listener as people tend to come to me to vent.
And I am very sensitive to my surrounds.
I studied Business (Marketing). A waste of my money.

My day is meh, I am stuck in a negative mindset, I just want to feel good about myself but can't.

I don't have favourite people here. I will respond to anyone where I can.

I found your response flippant and offensive.  To dismiss people who help to smooth the wheels of communication as merely charmers who manipulate others shows a complete disregard and lack of respect for others. It also shows a lack of respect and care for those who struggle talking to others.

Depression and anxiety are serious mental illnesses and cause all sorts of problems for the people caught up in them. And these are only some of the illnesses that affect people.

Mary

Dear Shelley

Thank you for your concern. I am fine. Thank you for your defense of me but not really necessary. Small talk is the entry to more meaningful conversations and to dismiss people who ease into conversations as manipulative charmers show a lack of insight. So I am unimpressed the comments about small talk.

I am in awe of you teaching your son. What a fantastic moment to see light go on. Definitely worth all the struggle. I can teach adults but not sure I would manage children. I'm far too impatient. See above replies.

No problems with laughing at me falling out of the bath. It really is a ridiculous accident.

There were quite a number of what are called mature age students, people who choose to gain a degree in later life, at uni with me. My lecturers often said they liked older students because they were more motivated to succeed. They had decided on their goals and worked hard to achieve them. I completed a degree in communication then went on to a Masters in ethics. Had a lot of fun.

I had ambitions to grow a herb garden once but it never got anywhere. I have my own small garden which I quite enjoy and work on, but would never call myself a gardener. Are you a vegetarian? I understand that vegetarians have fewer weight problems and are often healthier than meat eaters. How do you compensate for not eating protein, or specifically, not eating meat and poultry? Do eggs and cheese make up for this? It's always been a mystery to me.

My grandson returned this afternoon. He had a week off work and went to stay with his family. So I have just cooked tea for us. In many ways it good having him here as it forces me to cook proper meals for him and therefore myself. Otherwise I would just snack.

My five year granddaughter is coming to spend tomorrow with me. She is staying the night and her mom will collect her on Friday. We are going to work on the scrap book she is making for her other grandma in Scotland.

Will talk again later.

Mary