New nurse, crippling anxiety

[Romy]

I haven’t posted on here for awhile as my anxiety has been managed and well under control for years now. I have just graduated nursing and last week I started my very first job in a graduate nurse program. I am on a medical/oncology ward, it is extremely busy and full on. I have had 2 shifts now that have been crazy and have really decreased my confidence. Today I had to call in sick because my anxiety had gotten absolutely debilitating. I can eat, I’m vomiting and I can’t stop crying because I feel like an absolute failure. I want to be a nurse, I got good grades throughout university and I loved my clinical placements. This transition however is huge and I don’t know how I am going to get through it. Any nurses out there who have a similar experience? Everyone tells me it’s normal to be anxious and cry when you first start nursing..but this is far more than that, I can’t cope.

[Jacko777]

Hi Romy,

You've got this.

Not many people have what it takes to be a nurse, I could never. I hope you find some nurses that can help, keep reaching out. This time is a huge beginning for you, it makes sense that you would be stirred up but with time this will reduce as you become used to your new surroundings and roles. Yes, this transition is huge, perhaps the biggest you will face and you can decide that you WILL get through it, no question mark. It is okay to look after yourself however!

I wonder what things you did to manage your anxiety in the past? You may have to revisit these things and ramp them up, like way up, x 10. Inner talk is important too, instead of saying things like 'I can't cope', reframe it as 'I will find a new way to cope', changing my inner talk changed my life for the better, it takes practice. Meditation is great to help with all these issues too. You are so NOT a failure Romy, congratulations on graduating into the field of your choice.

Talk any time.

Jack

[blondguy]

Hello Romy.....and any nurses that are online

As Jacko777 mentioned above.....I wouldnt have what it takes to be a nurse of any description

I used to have chronic anxiety for a long time...and it was horrible....Can I ask if you have a GP that you can 'vent/talk' to about your the change you are experiencing?

You mentioned "Everyone tells me it’s normal to be anxious and cry when you first start nursing.." Your friends/colleagues are spot on here Romy 🙂

The roller coaster of anxiety is awful to experience Romy....I see an achiever

I really hope you can post back...only if and when you wish to do so 🙂

Please be gentle with yourself

my kindest always

Paul

[For_Now]

Hi

I have also started a grad year as a registered nurse. To say I’m overwhelmed is an understatement. I have been feeling super stressed and recently started feeling dizzy and almost in a drunk like state. I can’t focus on anything and my short term memory is no good.
I think that the feeling of being zoned out and blurry visioned is distractingly distressing. I then Focus on feeling this way and it makes everything worse. Doc says it’s all anxiety related but I convince myself it’s a serious Illness.
I Believe it’s all stress/anxiety related but it’s that loop and irrational though that exacerbates everything.!
I just hope every morning I’ll wake up and will be free of the pit in my stomach, brain fog, bowel upset and clammy feet and hands.

[Romy]

Hi everyone, thank you so much for the replies. Yesterday when I posted this I was in the midst of a huge anxiety attack that was just waiting to happen. I spoke to my mum last night, she gave me a pep talk for over an hour. She told me what I already knew, but I just needed to be told because my anxiety brain had taken over. I have been through anxiety flare ups before in any major life transition I have gone through. It’s really really hard, but something I know I am capable of getting through. I have spoken to my graduate coordinator and my ward manager who are both extremely supportive which is a relief. I also have counselling sessions organised and have seen my GP. I hope to check in with you guys later on when I’m starting to feel more normal, because I know this feeling won’t last forever. For now, I have to just ride it out.

[Romy]

I’m really glad you commented, as now we both know that we’re not alone. I recently posted in the student and graduate nurse support group on Facebook and have multiple people comment telling me their own experiences with anxiety and starting their grad year. We will get through this. It’s going to be really hard, but one day we will look back and realise how far we’ve come

[summer_girl]

Hi romy

i totally understand what you are feeling, 15years ago when I started my graduate placement I was like you as were many of my peers. University does not really prepare you for the responsibility and pressures of a ward especially a busy medical oncology ward. I see that you have spoken to your NUM which is great also your facilitator will be a great help that’s what the graduate program is for. As time goes on your confidence will grow romy and your anxiety will settle. There no shame in telling your peers you need extra help and support .
I always offer an extra helping hand to our new grads as I remember how hard it was. Hopefully you get that support also

nursing is a wonderful profession you have made a great choice

take care

[Romy]

Thanks for your reply! My anxiety has decreased, it's definitely still there but not as crippling. I'm just absolutely exhausted though, even on my days off! I'm assuming this is normal when first starting out.