New member

[Liz71]

I'm so grateful to have found this forum. So many people with the same symptoms & experiences as me. I've suffered for years, this year I've reached breaking point & have had a breakdown. I've been forced to finally "own" this stuff that happens to me, rather than trying to mask it with every type of masking behaviour I can find. I've been on & off AD or years, going to random GP's when I've hit lows, getting prescribed with whatever AD they think to prescribe, feel better, go off them, then the cycle of starting to spiral down & then back to whatever doctor I can get an appointment with & start again. I have committed myself to the care of one GP & have ended up in the care of a good psychiatrist. The last few months have seen us experimenting trying to get meds right. I went cold turkey for a few weeks (don't know how I got through it). The medication I'm now on has helped in it's own way, but has done nothing for my anxiety, which is currently off the charts & up there with the worst I've ever had. Hits me on waking, can't eat & can barely function. It dictates my life I hate it so so much & just wish I could have a break just for one day. I can't get near any helping techniques while I'm this strung out. I live in country NSW & it' so hard to get emergency appointments with your GP/specialist. I have a video hook up with my psychiatrist the 3rd week of October. I have a GP appointment tomorrow, but not with my regular Dr, so I'll have to start again with my story & probably beg for some medication. Then they'll think I'm a strung out drugo & won't perscribe me anything (happened before) Going to be a full on exhausting time until I can see my psychiatrist

[white knight]

Hi Liz, welcome to Beyond Blue forums.

We often think a break for one day will fix a lot of things but that is IMO a pipe dream. But thats how we cope.

Serious anxiety needs long term change of thought patterns with the mix of medication and ongoing medical/therapy care.

I started my anxiety medication and therapy in 1987. My anxiety medication stopped in 1999 and my anxiety has lessened ever since. Now its almost non existent. Two things that helped without a doubt was progressive muscle tension exercises and constantly asking myself if my thoughts were realistic or fantasy. But that was me. Might not be you.

This forum is ideal for you. You can discuss things here anonymously and comment further on your thread or start a new one if and when you think you need to. We are here to listen and help. From people that have been through it.

Hope others posts replies.

[Liz71]

Thanks so much for your kind words

[geoff]

dear Liz, thanks so much for joining the site, and would love to welcome you on board.

I'm so sorry that it's been a couple of days since you posted, but you're in good hands with WK or Tony.

What you have explained can be the norm for depression and and certainly having anxiety, but that doesn't make it any easier for you to be able to get through it.

There is always something that people tend to do and that's when they feel better they then think that they can stop taking their AD's, however it's by taking them they feel better, and when they stop they fall backwards and into depression again, so the whole process has to start all over again, with a great deal of frustration.

It does annoy you when the doctor believes that all you want is drugs, but they don't understand what anxiety and depression feels like.

I f you click under 'get support' at the top of this page there will be a list of doctors who are aligned with BB and specifically deal in depression so maybe you have a look at this page and find a doctor near you, because it would be better to have one doctor that will understand what your needs are, rather than change doctors, because they will then tend to think you are changing GP's because the other person won't give you the medication that you need, it's sort of a give away sign, and I am not saying that this is what you do by any means.

What you are trying to deal with is so exhausting and wonder why the hell you are not blessed with it, if you know what I mean, because by having it completely changes our personality.

Myself well I have had anxiety for about 54 years as I have OCD, but the medication will help.

We would be so pleased to let us know how you get on. L Geoff. x

[Liz71]

Geoff, thanks so much for your kind words. Means a lot.  I often wonder about why it's easy to sometimes reach out to strangers (I have some major holes in my support network) &  then the kindness & generosity of spirit that strangers offer back to you. 🙂