New here. Need advice and support.

[Bona]

Hi everyone,

I'm really nervous about discussing this but I need some support and advice as I'm feeling really alone at the moment.

Recently at work have been told I am not performing well and have been told to leave on my own terms or get fired. I have not been given enough time to make this decision and it is making me feel worthless and incompetent. It has really been playing on my mind and my anxiety is reason why I am in place. Over the past year, my anxiety has been getting worse and has really played a big role in my work. When I get into an uncomfortable situation with others, I began to feel scared and get into this state of not wanting to talk​ and face the situation at hand. It makes it even worse as it is a high pressure job with a high workload. This leads to not returning calls or e-mails as I don't want to be in a confrontation or uncomfortable situation as I really doubt myself and didn't want to face situation. I wish that my anxiety didn't control the way think and the self doubt that I have.

I feel like I have no one to talk to about it and I am feeling really alone as I don't want to burden people with my issues. I keep up a happy facade in front of others but I have broken down and have had few mini panic attacks when I am alone.

Please give me some advice on how to best handle this situation.

[blondguy]

Hi Bona

Welcome and good on you for posting! It takes a lot courage

As you probably know anxiety is very common and you are spot on, it can sometimes have an effect on our own thinking.

I used to have anxiety (and the anxiety attacks) when I was in senior roles in corporate positions and its a major pain.....for many years. I screwed up and didnt see my doc frequently enough which exacerbated my anxiety

Firstly..anxiety is a sign that we are oversensitised and have way too much on our plate. The best and most productive way to reduce the anxiety cycle is by making a double appointment (if possible of course) with your GP. They have much better training nowadays compared to even 10 years ago where anxiety is concerned.

The forums are a great place where you can have a really good vent to people who also have varying degrees of anxiety. You will never be judged here either.

The GP is a huge step towards healing......on a regular basis.

You will never be a burden to people with your issues. Anxiety is no different to a physical illness....Whether its our mind or our body they both need some help sometimes.

You are not alone here Bona

Your thoughts are more than welcome......even if you just want a chat....no worries.

my kind thoughts for you

Paul

[BballJ]

Hi Bona,

Firstly, welcome to the forums.

You have found the right place to reach out for help, Paul (blondguy) above had some great advice as per usual and has a wealth of experience. I have suffered from anxiety for around 10 years and only found once I started talking about it, on these forums, with my family and then a GP and finally a psychologist is when I started to get a grasp on it and not let it run my life. Have you ever seen a GP about your anxiety?

Just to echo Paul's (blondguy) advice above, work and anxiety sort of go hand in hand and it can really make it tough to complete your job duties when the anxiety is high and I am like you in the fact I put up a happy façade but have broken down when I am alone myself so I know how you are feeling but believe me it does get better. You are taking the great first step by reaching out here.

We are always happy to talk.

My best for you,

Jay

[bluewater]

Hi Bona,

Do you have a wellbeing officer at work?

Do go and see your G.P and hopefully they can give you some time off while you work on yourself and you can let your employer know you need some time off, this may be hard if your casual and not entitled to leave depending on your own situation but your health is priority. Take care

[Bona]

Thank you all for your kind words. It really means alot to me.

I haven't seen a GP as I have had some really bad experiences in past so it makes me nervous to go and see one.

There is no wellbeing officer on site. An external organisation is used. I'm on booking an appointment today.

[Helvicius]

Hi Bona,

I'm new here too, I don't have advice but I offer support & understanding. I think it is important to realise that there are many people in extremely important positions that issues similar to yours. You should be congratulated for having the courage to seek help.

I have suffered severe depression of and on for almost 30 years, possibly work issues contributed to the onset but I doubt it. My work did ultimately suffer as a result however and the depression and anxiety increased until, at the age of 50 I was forced to retire. I am a mechanical engineer (retired), I have spent countless millions of other peoples money designing, developing, budgeting and working as project manager. I loved my work, I never had a failure, of course there were check and balances along the way. Nonetheless the stress levels were enormous, I'd lay awake at night, pen and note pad by the bed going over and over everything. One jobs were signed of the relief was unimaginable.

So I know where you are coming from. We live in an ever more demanding society, how can we be expected to continually cope. If I have any advice it is to be open with people, you may be surprised at the support you receive, as for the doubters, give them a wide berth.

Best wishes

Chris

[Bona]

I feel really pressured at the moment to make a decision by the end of the day. I feel like I'm being pushed into a corner with nowhere else to go.

[BballJ]

Hi Bona,

I know it can be tough to make decision, especially about your mental health... the amount of health decision's I've put off because I was almost scared of getting a result I wasn't happy with. The way I like to look at it is, you have everything to gain by making the appointment... you will be no worse off if you did and I do encourage you to go a see a GP again, a complete new one, even calling the clinic and asking if there is a GP that specialises in mental health?

My best,

Jay

[Bona]

Hi everyone,

Thank you all for your kind words of support and the advice has been really helpful.

I decided to resign and feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I finally had the courage to tell my parents and their support was amazing. I have now decided to take some time to myself and to work through my anxiety before I start applying work.

Thank all again.

[BballJ]

Hi Bona,

That is great to read.. you seem quite happy with the decision with how your post came across so that is great. Even better that you have told your parents and got their support, it can make it a lot easier to deal with mental health when you have a great support network.

My best,

Jay