New Girl

[Panicked_Kylie]

Hey, I'm new here. It's 1am, and I've been experiencing panic attacks for the last month. Tonight is particularly bad. I'm terrified, physically uncomfortable, extremely tired... its been going on all night. I feel helpless and alone. I live by myself, and my greatest fear is having a heart attack alone in my home- that fear is amplified 100x during a panic attack which seems to never end.

I went to the hospital two weeks ago and had an ECG. Doctor assured me my heart was find. I'd like to believe him, but I don't. I think I'm a hypochondriac, which makes me too embarrassed and ashamed to seek further help.

I started on escitalopram two weeks ago, but it hasn't helped. I'll be making an appointment at the doc ASAP to find out what more I can do. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I don't know how to help myself. These symptoms feel all physical, not psychological or emotional, so I feel helpless and unable to control it. I wake up from a deep sleep having a panic attack... I'm at my witts end.

I joined a Facebook group for anxiety and panic sufferers, but there are so many people there, my posts get lost amongst the masses, and I tend to write entire novels... that might bore people...

[Sophie_M]

Dear Panicked Kylie,

We’re so grateful to have you reach out to our community this morning and are so sorry to hear everything you have going on at the moment. Times like this can definitely get overwhelming . We hope that you find our forums to be a safe and supportive space to talk through your thoughts and feelings. Our community is here for you. 

We hope you know that there is always help available to you, whether it's from our professional mental health counsellors Beyond Blue (available 24/7/365 on 1300 22 4636) or our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).
Keep checking back in with us whenever you feel up to it. 

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi there, and welcome to the forums. Sorry you're having this experience, it sounds really stressful. I'm wondering if anxiety is new to you? You say you've been having panic attacks for a month now, but I'm not sure what was happening prior.

It's good that you've been seeking medical help, and are going to see your GP, I think that's a good move to make sure there's no underlying medical issue - I see you've ruled out heart problems. Some really generic advice - have you tried abstaining from coffee, not using devices before bed, meditation etc to help you relax/sleep well? What do you do when you have a panic attack to try and calm yourself?

Love to hear more from you. Katy

[Petal22]

Hi panicked Kylie,

Sorry you are feeling this way it sounds very overwhelming.

I understand anxiety I had severe anxiety OCD it was very distressing and debilitating…

Have you thought about doing a mental health plan with your gp ?

this will give you access to a phycologist who can give you many strategies for managing your anxiety…

here to chat

[Panicked_Kylie]

Hi Petal,

I haven't sought any kind of mental health help. I've thought about it a lot, and I dont think I have anything wrong with me emotionally or psychologically. I have a really simple life with very very little to no stress. I don't know what brings on these attacks, they come out of nowhere for no apparent reason, and stick around despite me being emotionally/mentally calm.

I'll be seeing my GP to get bloods done to rule out any physical triggers, because I can't, for the life of me, figure out why it would be emotional or mental.

I've had general anxiety my entire life. I'm a hermit now, so much so, that I dread bin day. But these attacks happen on a nightly basis, often waking me from my sleep... whether it's bin day or not. I don't understand it. It's confusing and frustrating. I'm experiencing more chest pain on and off tonight. This has been ongoing every single night for the last month now, with exactly nothing changing in my life.

I did quit cannabis after 14 years about six or so months ago. I smoked it to manage my anxiety, but the last batch GAVE me anxiety. It was sickening enough to put me off it for good. That's the only thing that's changed, but that was over 6 months ago, and these nightly attacks started 1 month ago. I'm so tired of it.

[Panicked_Kylie]

Hi Katy

I'm not new to anxiety. It's been around my entire life. I've had panic attacks on the rare occasion for the last 3 or 4 years. It's only been this last month that they've attacked me every single night, linger for so long, and wake me from my sleep or keep me from sleeping.

For the last 14 years, I smoked cannabis to help with my anxiety, and it did help. The last time I smoked was over 6 months ago now, because the last time made me physically sick with anxiety and heart palpatations. I quit smoking after that and have been sober for over 6 months. I didn't suffer any withdrawals, I was happier without it. These frequent, long lasting panic attacks have only started this month though, so I'm not sure if it's related.

At the moment, I'm on an SSRI, which I don't think is working. I've been on it just over 2 weeks. At night, lately I've been getting to sleep a little easier by listening to sounds of thunderstorms and loud cat purring. I could go without coffee... it's my only vice right now- now THATLL be difficult! But if it helps... I've tried staying off my devices at night time, but I get extremely restless and can't help but distract or wear myself down by playing phone games or watching Law and Order.

I'll be seeing the GP soon. I've heard thyroid issues can give you panic problems, and I'm a big girl with a family history of those kinds of issues, so I'll be getting all the bloods done, cause I can't think of any emotional or mental triggers that bring these painful, uncomfortable, and frightening attacks on. I feel so silly for thinking I'm gonna die every night, but despite how aware and rational I am, I can't help it.

I feel like all your suggestions would be easier if it was purely emotional, but the physical discomfort and pain I feel makes it too real to meditate away. At least that's how helpless and out of control I feel.

[Petal22]

Hi Panicked Kylie,

Thank you so much for the reply……😊

I’d really highly recommend you talk to your gp about the way your anxiety is making you feel let them know about the panic attacks………. Anxiety can feel very overwhelming , everything seems to go so fast especially when we have a panic attack……

My anxiety used to wake me up in the night aswell it was hard to fall asleep again………

My symptoms of anxiety felt very physical aswell……. I had a number of symptoms with it….

My gp also put me on a antidepressant for my anxiety……. I think this also helped and I did therapy for my OCD…….. the two things together really helped me to recover………. I have now recovered I no longer have physical symptoms….. I was given many tools in my therapy to help me to manage my anxiety/ ocd if it ever arises…….. thank goodness for health professionals I don’t know we’re I would be today without their help………

I highly recommend you speak to your gp about your anxiety and do a mental health plan together this will give you access to see a psychologist who can give you many strategies to help you to manage your anxiety…….. when booking your gp book a double appointment so you can do your mental health plan…… that day…. I hope all of your bloods come back ok….. aswell 😊

Also well done for quitting cannabis that’s fantastic you should be very proud of yourself……

im here to chat to you

[Panicked_Kylie]

Thank you Petal. I AM proud of quitting. It mightve helped with my anxiety, but it wasn't making me healthy... just lazy and numb.

Despite not understanding my current mental state, or thinking anything is wrong, I WILL ask my doctor about a mental help plan. I called a night nurse the other night when my worst attack hit, and she made some suggestions- one of which I've taken on board and started using. It really does help a little. I listen to thunderstorms and loud cat purrs to help me sleep. The cat purring actually helps me get a steady rhythm with my breathing... it's fascinating and comforting. My only problem now is, getting to a state where I CAN try to sleep, or want to sleep. At the moment, I'm too restless and the chest pain is coming and going and I'm just too generally worried to try sleep.

I never wanted to be on anxiety medication. I gained a lot of weight last time I was on them over a decade ago. I used to think I'd rather be a little anxious than be depressed about my weight again, but at this point, I'd rather be a little heavier than to continue living like this.

I worry about seeing my GP. They tend to not understand what I'm saying very well, and wanna rush me out the door. I've really gotta try communicate with them better. I need help, and I'm not gonna get it so long as I stay mousey. Now that I'm more aware of what's going on, I hope the appointment is more productive than previous visits.

Thanks again for your advice, Petal. It's really refreshing to talk to someone who can understand and relate. I feel like a hypochondriac any time I talk to people who don't.

[Petal22]

That’s ok …. That’s great you can recognise what the marijuana was doing to you…….. be proud of you… well done 😊

Thats great that you are going to talk to your doctor about a mental health plan……. When talking to your gp let them know about your anxiety, panic attacks and how it’s effecting your life……….. not all anxiety medication puts on weight…… ask for a antidepressant that doesn’t contribute to weight gain…if you want to go this way..

well done for calling a night nurse I’m glad her suggestions were helpful well done for taking them on board………. I use meditation…… it really helps with anxiety……. I’d highly recommend you do this every day if you can, I do meditation before going to sleep I do a guided meditation…….. you could find one on your phone…… google meditation for sleep or meditation for anxiety…. I did one for learning to watch my thoughts… it was part of my therapy… it was great it taught me that I’m not my thoughts but the watcher of my thoughts I can now sit back and observe my thoughts…… it takes practice but once you get the concept it’s amazing….

Your gp is there to help you, if you feel they are rushing you or don’t feel very compassionate find a new gp who is more understanding……. I found it easier to write down a list of what I wanted to say to the gp and take it in with me and read off the list what I wanted to say…… this way I didn’t miss anything I felt I got everything out that I wanted to……( try this)……. Speak up and tell them everything you need to…..

that’s ok, your not a hypochondriac……. Your not alone……

im always here to chat to you, let me know how your gp appointment goes 😊