Dear GM13~
Welcom to the bb Forum and thanks for your post. I know it is quite a hard thing to set out your personal details to a bunch of strangers, however there is hope here, as many have been down similar paths and want to help. There is absolutely no need to apologize - if all was well you would not be here.
Your symptoms sound similar to some of mine. I suffer from various illnesses having had depression and have chronic anxiety. When down I have felt like you. While you don't actually say your diagnosis I'm guessing it's similar. I also have had to maintain a mask with others.
No matter what it is it looks like your treatment is not being properly effective. As a person with long term illnesses I can say that medications and therapies need adjustment, and can at times be right off. Trying to find the best balance is a time consuming, and sometimes a discouraging job. Nevertheless when it does 'çlick' it is worth it.
May I suggest you go see your health professional again and lay out the facts, your current state, and how it's been in the past. Then have a discussion as to what needs to be done. Should this not be satisfactory there is nothing against seeking another opinion. Good rapport is essential.
On another matter, do you have a family, or anyone to talk to and support you? I found this has always been a great help to me. Another help is doing the exercises in an app like Smiling Mind - I find it of benefit when I need to break a chain of thoughts.
Ok, please post again and say how you are going, you'll be met with care and understanding
Croix
