Never ending cycles of anxiety :(

[redpanda13]

I've always had an anxious / overthinking mind. Certain scenarios are always stuck in the back of my mind until I finally decide to do something about them then a new scenario just takes over and I'm stuck being anxious again for months / years.

An example is one day I would suddenly feel bad about bullying this kid in the past then I would keep obsessing over that until one day I decided to apologize to him and his response was that he was fine and he didn't care about it. Then after some time, I will start to think that I have treated my ex girlfriend quite badly and start to obsess over that thought for a few months until I finally decide to message her and say "I'm sorry for treating you bad" in which she replies with " It's fine, no need to apologize".

For the last few months I've been anxious about this other scenario. This is that one time my dad asked me to help him share a file and I saw an app with a big red heart on it. He has cheated on my mum in the past so seeing this just got me thinking if he is using a dating app? Afterwards I went to search up all the dating app images to see if that picture matched with any of them so I can be sure if he was using a dating app or not but was unable to find any matches. He hasn't shown any other signs of cheating and is always home etc. So I was just thinking if I am overthinking again.

I feel like If i do confront this issue and ask him if he's using a dating app and "resolve" this issue, another scenario will just pop up and replace it and I'll be stressed over another thing and the cycle of never-ending anxiety will continue. There are more examples of these scenarios but I have just named 3 for this post. These scenarios always take me a long time like months to confront with the targeted person, because maybe the logical part of my brain is fighting with the anxious part of my brain and telling me that I'm just overthinking and nothing needs to be done, but in the end the anxious part always wins.

I wish there was a way to target this core problem?

Any tips or comments would be helpful 🙂

Thank you so much!

[white knight]

Hi RP

I hope I can help, I'm no substitute for therapy.

Anxiety can be cured unlike many other illnesses. It took me 22 years but could be done quicker. A combination of several things is needed- GP, professional treatment, meds, life changes relationship changes, introduction of social events, move to the country etc. My methods is outlined below-

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-how-l-eliminated-it/td-p/183873

Obsessing over issues or fantasies "what if's" is a serious concern. My therapist taught me to decide if my thoughts are realistic or non real. If non real then try to stop thinking about it. You can assist yourself with doing that with distraction-

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/depression-distraction-and-variety/td-p/275790

Anxiety to an extent can be near normal. There is a reason for it-

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/seeking-the-origin-of-anxiety/td-p/74769

As for others I take the view that I only act upon factual information. You can ruin strong relationships by asking a question that is based on whether you can trust them or not. With your dad I wouldnt jump in the deep end and risk it. No sound evidence- no case!. After all in law you are innocent till proven guilty.

So this forum is also great for in between Dr visits and asking questions, welcome and use search on the top to find topics.

TonyWK

[Bob_22]

Hi redpanda13,

Thanks for your post and for sharing. Im sorry to hear you've been grappling with anxious thoughts and have been unsure of how to move past them. 

Your issue is actually something I used to experience very frequently and for me was a symptom of general anxiety. Rumination, irrational worry and guilt were big symptoms of mine and similar to you, I would dwell on little mistakes I've made in the past or will make in the future and try to solve them all just to clear my mind. It took me a long time to realise the core problem was internal and not something I could fix environmentally. This meant going to my doctor and a psychologist who helped me with CBT and how to challenge some of the anxious thoughts I had been having. This included techniques such as a relaxation, mindfulness, thought challenging/identification and structured problem solving. These are things best discussed with a mental health professional if you have one you consult. If not, I would definitely recommending enlisting the help of one. 

If you need any immediate help or someone to talk to, please reach out to a counsellor here at beyond blue anytime by clicking the "immediate support" button at the top right corner of this page. Please update us on any developments with you and remember to take care of yourself. 💙

Bob

[redpanda13]

Thank you so much for your advice ❤️

[redpanda13]

Thank you so much for the input ❤️

[Bob_22]

 No worries redpanda13! Hope it helped some 💙

Bob