My symptoms don't fit

[KM2]

Hi, this is my first time and I'm new to all of this. I'm 38 year old married mum of 3 school aged kids and my husband and I both work full time. Lately though I feel like I'm falling apart at the seams. this has been bought on by a stressful situation at work - since then I have had 'anxious episodes'. I don't really know how else to describe them. My heart races, I feel adrenaline racing through me, I get chest pains, I sometimes cry, I feel jittery and highly strung and completely on edge. Theses episodes can last from 15 minutes to half a day - however the chest pains persist for hours after the other symptoms go, even when I feel quite calm again. I recognize these symptoms as they have occurred before in my life - when my dad died and being separated from my family during a natural disaster. In those cases as in this one, I feel others are 'closer to the situation' and have things worse than me, so I feel like I have no right to feel anxious/upset/angry about stuff. So, I've looked at the info on this site and others and my symptoms don't seem to fit - I don't feel worthless or depressed, my symptoms have not persisted for 6 months or longer, I don't feel fearful or have a fear for my health or a fear of having some nasty disease. So when I fill out the quick stress/depression/anxiety quizzes it always comes back that I'm in the normal range. But this is not normal. I feel like I'm not coping, that I'm coming apart at the seems, like I'm under-performing at work and at home (as a Mum/and a partner). I'm really short tempered with my family and just want to be by myself at home. Then I look around and the messy house, the children I'm ignoring and feel worse. I have made an appointment to see a GP tomorrow. I am wondering if others have felt similar symptoms to me. Cos I'm very confused. 

[Zeal]

Hi KM2,

Welcome to the forum :)

What you are describing sounds like Anxiety to me. Those online tests you did are only really a guide, and aren’t designed for self-diagnosis. You are doing the right thing by seeing your GP. Explain all your symptoms and concerns to your doctor tomorrow. They will be able to assess you, and may refer you to a counsellor or psychologist. Anxiety is a condition which is by nature hard to control. There will always be people who are worse off, but this doesn’t lessen the importance of your own situation. You deserve to have treatment and to get help too. If your doctor isn’t aware of your history, I recommend telling him/her about the two major events in your past that caused these same symptoms.

I was diagnosed with OCD (an anxiety disorder) when I was 13. It was severe in my mid-to-late teens, but is mild and manageable now. I am on medication to control the OCD and to compensate for my lack of the brain chemical serotonin. I can relate very well to feeling jittery and on-edge. The stress of your job sounds as though it was the trigger for this bout of anxiety. Are there any strategies you can use at work to improve the situation for you? Would talking to your boss or manager help?

I hope tomorrow’s GP appointment goes well. Feel free to respond with more updates or questions.

Take care,

SM

[Beltane]

SM is right, often the anxiety self-tests and even the information sheets are very generic- they are the symptoms that are the most common to most people. BUt I remember when I had terrible anxiety getting extremely frustrated and downright angry at doctors because they kept giving me these generic anxiety brochures and insisting i i had anxiety, and yet i didnt recognise the symptoms as me. I was like "no i dont hyperventilate, i dont do this, i dont do that"

The reality is- and this is something that i really really try to share amongst people that i know and meet in the community- is that mental illness comes in very different forms. No human is exactly the same, and no illness presents in exactly the same way.

It does certainly sound like you're struggling with anxiety. I'm glad you feel it hasn't been for longer than 6 months. Often the sooner these anxiety/ depression problems are dealt with, they're just the little bit easier to deal with- because you havent had years to get 'stuck" or "used" to those belief patterns/ emotions/ way of thinking etc.

Just so you know, chest pain due to anxiety is actually a common symptoms, as are heart palpitations. but I am glad you are going to your doctor because it is extremely important that your chest pain is thoroughly checked to make sure its not something more serious.

Like i said, i lived with anxiety for YEARS because my symptoms just didnt match the vague brochures i was given so therefore i didnt feel it was the right diagnosis. If i'd had a caring doctor who actually sat down and explained that illnesses do present in different ways, i probably would have saved myself years of suffering.

I suffered from extreme nausea- and much like yours, it would take many hours or even a full night after a stressful occurance to stop feeling nauseous. I lost weight and struggled to hold down work, it was really terrible. I had like 10000 tests to find out what the nausea was, and nothing ever showed up- of course it didnt cos it was anxiety all along.

To cut a long story short, i had severe anxiety for the entire 24 years of my life before i started taking medication and seeing a psychologist. And now I live anxiety free and depression free, 3 years later (i started feeling better within a couple of months of getting treatment). So if i can beat an entire lifetime of anxiety to live a normal life and feel good about myself again, then i reckon you have a pretty good shot 😄

[56degree]

That is an inspiring story right there.

Thanks.