My parents are trying to kick me out

[Sangster_03]

We have to move out of our current rental to a much smaller house but myself and my brother are always in arguments with them over little things,my mum is always telling us that we have to find our own place nearly daily,I'm 21 currently unemployed,have no licence,no money or anyone to help me out.im always anxious & depressed which has started to cause chest pains & thoughts of committing,I really don't want to become homeless the only way out I see is death which I think about all the time for years 

[Summer Rose]

Hi Sangster 03

I’m really sorry to hear about the situation you currently find yourself in. I can certainly understand your feelings of depression and anxiety at the thought of being forced out of your home at a time when you are neither prepared or ready.

I am concerned about you, particularly your dark thoughts about death. I encourage you to make your mental health a priority.
Please don’t hesitate to call 000 in an emergency.

I also think it could help to call the beyondblue support line on 1300 224 636 when you’re really struggling. The counsellors are very helpful and available for free, 24/7.

I would also suggest that you make an appointment to see your GP (book a double appointment) to discuss your mental health.

I’m wondering if you think it would be possible for you to have a talk with your mum about her comments regarding “getting your own place”?
If you don’t have clarity on her level of seriousness—for example, is she angry and frustrated when she says this as a threat or is she determined?—you could start there.

You could also let her know the impact the thought of moving out right now is having on your mental health.

If she is determined that you move out, perhaps you could ask her to help you to figure out how to do this.

See how it goes with mum and we can always talk some more. Please post any time.

Kind thoughts to you 

[Sangster_03]

It's mostly her saying it when she is frustrated which is probably daily as I live in a family of 7,5 over the age of 18 (two of them are always in & out 24/7 or fighting as a couple with a baby that are both 19 yrs old),2 under 18,the youngest has diabetes which of course comes with added stress,my brother has adhd with anger issues,my stepdad has raging anger issues that goes off nightly at 9 pm,I have autism and adhd with multiple other disorders undiagnosed due to my psychologist not wanting to "ruin my life with a legal diagnosis" - his words,both my parents know about my mental health due to previously having a suicide prevention plan in high school but nothing ever got fixed with helping me,suicide or self harm in my family gets ignored as I'm not the first out of the siblings to do or have done it,I don't have a gp that's useful at all unfortunately and I don't know any gps that are useful due to staying at only one clinic that bulk bills but the gps aren't that useful unfortunately,I've had depression since I was alot younger and anxiety has always been a thing for me but the anxiety is affecting my physical health now 

[Summer Rose]

Hi Sangster 03

Thank you for sharing a bit more of your story. It takes courage, so well done to you. 
As a person living with autism, ADHD and other undiagnosed disorders, I can understand better some of the challenges you face and why you face them. 

I hear you when you say, “it’s mostly her saying it when she is frustrated”.  You have a big family where members have complex, legitimate, yet competing needs.

I’m sure this can be stressful for everyone at times.

Parents can sometimes say things that they don’t really mean when they are upset and under pressure.  Understanding if her threat is real would be useful, as it could alleviate your current anxiety or help us to focus on planning for your departure as a matter of urgency. 

If you agree, I suggest you approach mum when everyone is calm, you can be alone and write down your thoughts to share with her in advance. Another option is to speak with your brother and see if he is planning to leave or what he thinks of the situation.

I’m sorry that you haven’t had good experiences with your GP for mental health issues but I do think it’s still worth a visit. I say this because you believe anxiety is now affecting your physical health and while this could be true, I think it would be a good idea to rule out any new physical health issue. Chest pains really deserve a checkup, just to be sure.

I was relieved to read that you have a psychologist. Is it possible to make an appointment to see him/her to discuss your current mental health?

I want to encourage you to also review the Lifeline Suicide Safety Planning app (just Google it). I think it could help you to put a new plan in place now. You can also call Lifeline at any time on 13 11 44 for crisis support.
Are you close with any of your siblings? I’m hoping that one of them might be able to offer you some support right now with planning and other life issues.

There are financial supports available for people living with disability and community support. One step at a time this community can help you through this situation.

Kind thoughts to you