my anxiety is out of control and im feeling so alone help!!!

chook_ · ‎26-12-2013

I SUFFER from severe anxiety, It started two years ago I just woke up one morning and bang that was it I could eat I couldn't stop pacing the house, my body was shacking I was getting hot sweats and my brain was just thinking stupid things and going crazy. I went straight up to the doctors and told her that I was going crazy and that I was convinced I had something severly wrong with me. she told me that I was having anxiety and that I will most likely need to go on medication. I told her that I didn't believe in taking medication and that I would be fine with out it. I went home that day and things just got worse my anxiety levels just went through the roof and I couldn't control what I was doing, I was affarid that in was going to be stuck like this forever!!!! I went back to the doctors the next day and told then that I needed something anything even I judt wanted these thoughts and feelings to go away! the doctor wrote me out a script for 2 medications . I started them that day. I still felt extremely anxious. that night I couldn't sleep and I was just crying and pacing the house all the time. by the time morning came I was a wreck. I went back up to the doctors and told her I couldn't handle it and I needed a quick fix she informed that there was no such thing and too just hang in there untile the meds kicked it. so every day for the nxt four to six wks I went on feeling this way waiting and hoping that the meds would work and eventually they did. I don't know how I held in there for so long. I did good for a long time but gained a lot of weight so I went back to the doctor and he suggested I change medication witch I done and I have been on the different medication for around three or so months now and have been feeling normal until today! I got home yesterday afternoon from my dads after having a big chrissy day with my kids my partner and all the family and fell asleep in my daughters bed at about 5.30pm and slept write though to 8.30 this morning. I had the most horrible dreams all night. when I woke I felt in a haze and went and had a shower and then bang just like that the anxiety came rushing back I started shacking all over and couldn't stop crying I have the sick terrible feeling in my belly and I thinking stupid thoughts. I don't understand why it has came back for? has this happened to any one else? and has anyone ever had anxiety this bad before? im feeling so anxious that it starts to make me feel depressed and im afraid that im going to keep going on feeling this way and that im not going to get better. I look at my kids and cry I feel sorry for them that they have a mum who suffers with anxiety and I feel they deserve better. i want to feel normal again for my kids... why is this happening and am i ever going to get better will this pass?? i feel like i am the only person that has ever possibly felt this bad before. pls help.

Jo3 · ‎26-12-2013

Hi Brooke123

I feel for you and what you're going through. Although I suffer from anxiety and have had panic attacks, I haven't had them like you.

Do you know why you had this anxiety attack in the shower? It is so scary when having panic attacks as they seems so real. When I had mine, I was driving on a freeway at night in winter, I started to have a panic attack. I had to pull over and call for help, I phoned Lifeline who then called the police to help me. My husband eventually came and brought me home.

I know have a coping plan set out by myself and my psych. I remind myself that I will be okay, I take some slow deep breaths and calm down (sometimes easier said than done).

Not sure but are you seeing a pysch or GP for therapy as to how to help you with your anxiety attacks. I really think you need counselling to help you,

I'm sorry I can't be of anymore help. Please take care

Jo xx

chook_ · ‎26-12-2013

hi jo

and thankyou for replying,

i was seing someone only did a couple of sessions then i started to feel better so i stoped going. i have no idear what triggered it i have noticed over the last week that i have been starting to feel more and more anxious like thinking that there is something wrong with me for example. i found i freckle that looked different and i instantly thought i had cancer then my son was complaining of a head ache and my mind straight away thought brain tumer so i staryed to notice my anxiety coming back with those things but today i just cant control it.

i keep thinking i have bipolar or something and it scares me even though the doctors have told me i don't numerous times.

Jo3 · ‎26-12-2013

Brooke, is there any way you can go back and have more counselling sessions?

Sometimes you need more sessions to find out what is really causing you to have these attacks.

I think that when we suffer depression or anxiety or any mental illness our fears seem huge or not real, so we then go into panic mode instantly and then fear the worse.

It must be really scary for you to feel like this. But I think if you could get to see someone again that would help.

Pls keep writing on here, as I am sure others will reply and offer help.

Take care

Jo

Jos · ‎26-12-2013

Hi Brooke123,

The lead up to Christmas can be very busy for us all, perhaps you have been going full steam ahead and this is just an interim reminder that you still need to keep tabs on yourself and be kind to yourself by getting the rest that you need. Don't be too fearful as this may pass you by, don't preempt that this is going to be as it was before. Just be mindful of now and the techniques that you would have previously been taught. One step at a time, if you are still feeling as bad tomorrow, make an appointment and remember this will pass.

Thinking of you - Josephine 🙂

Dexter2748 · ‎26-12-2013

Hello, this is my very first post on a forum so please keep that in mind just in case none of it makes sense...

I suffer from both anxiety issues and depression, I have so for many years now. Everyone around me thinks I live a happy life without a care in the world and I am always the guy who offers moral support to anyone when in need. Truth is I feel so distant from the world, as though I have already passed away and I'm just observing the people around me. Does that make sense? I panic whenever someone asks me where I want to be in five years and I can never see the point in planning something 3 months from now as though that time may never come. I cry alone in bed wishing I was no longer alive but know I would never harm myself as I understand how selfish that act can be, I could never hurt my family.

I recently experienced my first full blown panic attack, gosh it was horrible. I couldn't breathe , I could only see stars and I honestly thought I would never recover. Since then I have started taking antidepressants and even a benzodiazepine when I feel I can't really relax or sleep. My doctor is trying to fix a thyroid issue I have but he seems to be ignoring my mental health issue as though it's unimportant.

I need to find a new doctor but that seems to stressful and scary plus I'm struggling financially which is also very stressful.

I'm currently dating someone and can never relax without knowing what he's doing, even when I know he's at home sleeping I panic assuming he's out doing something that would hurt me. I'm like this in every relationship even though none of them have given me any reason to believe they have been untrustworthy. I cannot sleep, relaxing or plan a normal day because I'm so caught up in the panic of it all. I normally just break it off with the person I'm dating but that only just avoids dealing with my issues.

I always think about why I get so attached and I feel it's because I'm not worthy of happiness so have to make sure my friends/partner/family are happy so I can forget about my pain and live life through them. I really do wish I didn't have to live like this anymore. I watch everyone around me blossom as I just slowly back myself into a deep dark corner.

Is this normal? Is my issue silly compared to what others have to deal with? I feel like I could keep typing for hours but I will stop at that.

Brooke, you're so amazing for raising your family while dealing with a mental health issue. I'm sorry that my post isn't all that helpful for you but I needed to let it out. I don't have a great deal of support in my day to day life.

chook_ · ‎26-12-2013

Thankyou so much everyone for replying to my post I started too feel a tiny bit better tonight and I actually ate something and had a shower but that didnt last long as at the moment I am laying on my lounge everyone is asleep and I am feeling panicked and anxious again. I dont no if I am talking myself into it or what?? All day I have been thinking I hope I sleep tonight without aanxiety so this could be why?? Im still feeling like know one could possible have felt this and I feel alone with it!!

Mares73 · ‎27-12-2013

Hi Brooke, you poor thing. I read your post & thought "that's me"". I suffer from terrible anxiety generally with symtoms like I'm on super high alert, ready to jump at anything, my stomach is so sick in knots, I struggle to breathe & I feel like my adrenalin levels are so high I'm always waiting for something to happen. That's me on a "normal day". On others my thoughts race, I'm completely overwhelmed, I struggle to breathe, can't think straight, can't sleep, can't function, worry about anything & everything. There is no way to describe how bad it is unless you have experienced it. And it leads to depression because you feel so so low & overwhelmed that you think your going mad. I take an antideppresant. But for anxiety they can take a few weeks to work. There are short term medications (benzodiazepines) like mentioned above but Drs don't like to prescribe them as they are addictive. But if your Dr knows you well as mine did-they can be an absolute lifesaver-they stop the anxiety almost immediately. But as I said they are for short term use only ie maybe 2wks until antideppresants work. I would strongly suggest if you are still feeling as bad as you first described that you go back to your Dr & discuss this. You could even print this our & show him. You could also research it by looking up things such as "short term medications for severe anxiety" and look up the antidepressant he prescribed as some work better for anxiety than others. Try & get information for yourself so you feel some hope that certain medications will help. That's separate to some counselling you may also want to do. Please keep in contact & let us know how you are & what happens. But if you are highly distressed I would go back to the Dr ASAP & discuss options the way we have done here. My thoughts are with you, take care & I know it mighnt be possible-but if it is-remember nothing lasts forever. Hugs x Mares

geoff · ‎28-12-2013

dear Brooke and Dexter, anxiety falls under the umbrella of depression, and by saying this and what it means is that depression is the major cause of anxiety, PND, PTSD, phobias, bipolar, suicide, loss of appetite or maybe over indulging, social anxiety and the list goes on, so it has a broad aspect, and certainly a damaging one.

When people go and see a psych or counsellor and they believe that all of a sudden they feel OK, so they stop seeing them, this is a mistake because with depression we have days that are mediocre but this can suddenly change to feeling absolutely awful, so you maybe better today but tomorrow terrible, and that's why the counselling has to continue, because the problem is still there.

Anxiety is an illness and the more help you get means the more support you will have, and there becomes a time when we tire of putting on this fake face, because it will eventually crack.

You may have to try different sorts of medication before you find the one that can get you over the line. Geoff.

Faithpoet · ‎21-06-2016

I will pray for you. I myself suffer from high anxiety and panic attacks. God has always helped me. I am not trying to put beliefs onto anyone. Ginger calm helps me and writing poetry. It comforts me. I try and keep busy. I also suffer from Fibromyalgia but do affirmations daily. We are all special. Talking with someone will help you. I have been on benzodiazepenes in the past. I am sorry you are suffering so much. Anxiety affects so many people. I hope and pray that you will find a good and understanding GP as I have. My Dr has helped me so much over the years. God bless.