Managing Anxiety and New Relationships

[elizabeths90]

First time ever posting on any kind of forum in regards to my own issues, but this just seems like such a welcoming and supportive environment to do so. 

I find it difficult to always approach my friends about these issues as I feel like they think I'm a burden or complaining - There is my anxiety again! I've struggled with it for ages and now I can recognize whats my anxiety and whats ME. Though I really really struggle with it when trying to form new romantic relationships. I was wondering if anyone else had experienced this? How they manage it and maintain the relationship.

I've had many off and on relationships and many with a manipulator and my first relationship as a teenager was an abusive one, I struggle with thoughts of doubt, stress, hurt and anxiety when I meet someone I like. Sometimes the anxiety towards a new relationship is absolutely unbearable! I'm 25 and am dating again now, I don't want to have a complete melt down when it doesn't work out or in the initial stages because I struggle with the anxiety.

I see my GP and psychologist regularly, but just wanting to hear from other people who experience the same issues and have coped with them. 

Thank you all so much in advance 

[Happy1]

Hey elizabeth,  Yes I have had very similar anxiety issues to you.  I hesitate when the opportunity is there for me to actually get what I want, to ask someone over so I can be intimate with them...There are very few women I like (and yes I am gay as well, which makes it even more difficult, as I don't know whether the other woman wants what I want or not.)  I haven't been on an actual date for several years now. And I haven't been in a r/ship for 15 years.  All I can do is focus on other (good) things in my life.  But I really really want a r/ship and want to love someone totally & wholeheartedly. (besides myself. lol) 

[MarkBt]

Hi Elizabeths90,

Not sure I have a good answer for the Kicker. I can share that I went into a relationship that was a little less exciting not long after and ended up married to this person. Now have two kids.. Perhaps the other big change after the pressure of anxiety was released around relationships for me, was that I knew more about what I needed from a relationship. I guess my wife challenges me in a way that is healthy, doesn't suffer from anxiety and to some extent doesn't get it either but that's ok because she becomes a reference point.  If she can't see it, it's probably my anxiety talking. If that makes sense.

I'm sure there is balance all of this, if you can learn to embrace and accept the anxiety as a part of you. Someone you are attracted to will call back and stick around.

[Paul]

Hey Happy1,

If you feel comfortable, join the LGBTI forum. The folks there may be able to offer some advice on dating and where to meet someone. I've found meetup pretty good for finding people with similar interests gay or straight.

Paul