Life of suffering?

[Justin95]

I dropped out of high school year 10 (2016) because I couldn’t concentrate on my class work because of my ADHD. During this time up until now (2021) I read books constantly everyday and meditate to control my ADHD and possibly Bipolar disorder. It’s been almost 5 years since I left school and I’m planning to return and start my year 11 classes (2022). But I just don’t feel ready. My mom shouts at me tells me to act tough and stop being lazy, but I’m doing my best. Last night I checked my Facebook and saw old friends graduating uni and others already have girlfriends, while I haven’t even finished night school. I even saw my CRUSH have a boyfriend who looks handsome than me. I feel so low and behind. I read and study but I still can’t learn properly I feel like an idiot. PLEASE don’t recommend me to talk to some random suicide helpline because what I’m feeling is so overwhelming.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Justin95,

Thank you for sharing this here. We're so sorry to hear you're feeling this way. Please know that this community is here for you.

We're concerned about you, so we are reaching out to you privately. We think that it is really important that you talk to someone about these thoughts and feelings, so please give the Beyond Blue helpline a ring directly on 1300 22 4636 to talk things through with the lovely counsellors. A few more options are KidsHelpline on 1800 55 1800, Lifeline on 13 11 44, and Headspace on 1800 650 890. All of these options are also available through webchat, if you'd prefer: 

• Beyond Blue 
• Kids Helpline 
• Lifeline 
• Headspace (9am-1am AEDT) 

It can be really tough to make the step to make a call but the people who answer the phone are kind and helpful. They speak to people about this everyday and can offer useful advice. You don't have to go through this alone.

Hopefully we'll hear from the community at some point. In the meantime, we hope you're able to be kind to yourself, and to feel some pride in the bravery it took to post here today. 

Kind regards,

Sophie M

[Banksy92]

Hey Justin,

Sounds like you're feeling really low and isolated from some of your peers. I'm so sorry to hear that. There's quite a few positive things in your message though which I think you should also be really proud of - despite your struggles at school you've become an avid reader (wow!) and are finding meditation helpful for your ADHD symptoms. Great news you've also decided to go back and finish year 11 too. Everyone learns differently and is unique, so I think those of us who can find a way that works for us, particularly if the 'regular' school system has been challenging, it's a massive step. I hope you can take a moment and be really proud of yourself for these wins.

I can relate to some of what you describe, about comparing ourselves to others on social media. Seeing friends or family succeed in ways we wish we could be, or just having a great time somewhere when we feel low. It can be so toxic for our self esteem. Have you considered taking a brief break from socials? Just to get some space and focus on yourself and your goals for a bit?

I'm also wondering if you have considered having a chat with a doctor about your ADHD? To explore what options there are for support? It might be helpful if you're about to start back at school to just see what tools are available to you.

Hope this helps

[Justin95]

Banksy92, thank you for your reply it means a lot to me.

[Positive_vibes89]

Hi Justin,

ADHD would definately make school work difficult. I understand how frustrating it must be for you. I know you really want to do it but the ADHD makes it harder. Did you find being in a classroom environment really hard with all the other students, lots of distractions from others? It could be a possibility that you could complete your studies online at home away from the distractive environment or what about seeking a tutor that can support you? I know tafes offer students support services and assistance because they really do want you to succeed. I suggest that you get into contact with the school and ask them about how they can assist you with your ADHD. Its very disheartening to find others around you achieving something and you feel that youre not. I understand completely, I was supposed to graduate from university this year but I failed two subjects. Im back again next year for my 4th year. I get very upset when I see my mates are graduating and have also allready got jobs! But there isnt much I can really do about it. Youre feeling frustrated with others, use that energy into focusing on your schooling. Believe me, it gets very tiring when you feel emotional. Its about accepting that you cannot change the past, but you can change your future. I want to tell you its amazing you have planned to finish year 11. I failed year 11 and still got into university as an adult student. There are so many future possibilities for you and its okay that you are a little slower than others.

[Guest_7403]

You're still young mate....got your whole life ahead of you.

Never too late to finish high school and further yourself.

Don't worry about seeing crushes and mates with Mrs etc....they're young themselves and those relationships won't last.

The grass is always greener on the other side.