The warmest of welcomes, especially at such an incredibly stressful time in your life. Sounds like you've managed to do a lot of work in the way of self understanding and self development. My hat goes off to you. It can be a tough business, self understanding, and one that never ceases as long as we're on this earth. Always something new to learn when it comes to gaining a better sense of who we naturally are and how we tick.
Who are we and how do we work or tick? My goodness, where to start? Considering there are experts or specialists in just about every area (neurologists, geneticists, psychologists, spiritualists, nutritionists and everything else ending in ists), to say we're pretty complex is an understatement. From physical, mental and even soulful explorations, it's quite the rabbit hole. As a 54yo gal, I love exploring that rabbit hole and all it's occasionally intersecting offshoots. It's a passion or interest born out of necessity, especially when it comes to managing my mental health.
One of the areas of exploration I enjoy most would have to be of a more natural or soulful kind. I think it's because it offers a perspective of power and ability, as opposed to a sense of powerlessness and fault. For example, someone could say to me, in a period of depression or anxiety, 'What's wrong with you? You're too sensitive (expressed as an insult)'. On the other hand, on a more positive note, someone else could say 'Gee, you're sensitive (meant as a compliment). You have an incredible ability to sense so much, including what's stressful and depressing. Has anyone ever taught you how to come to your senses in constructive ways that serve you?'. So, it's kind of like 'As an apprentice 'sensitive' or 'feeler' (of feelings), I've never had a master to show me how to master sensitivity/feeling, from a young age'. For some, it can be quite a number of decades of struggling without a master. So much to know. So many practices to trial, in finding what works. So many feelings to wake up to. So many challenges to face, learn from and develop through.
When you can sense/feel your tipping point, sense/feel where your cortisol levels, dopamine levels and nervous system are at, when you can sense/feel what people say to you, sense/feel their emotions (as though they were your own), sense/feel your inner dialogue, sense/feel certain facets that go toward making up the whole of who you are (with the stresser being just one of those facets) and when you can sense/feel just about everything else, technically that is one seriously impressive ability that can definitely feel more like hell on earth at times.
